Mindfulness Mode

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Increase your calm, focus and happiness so you can be more relaxed, contented and satisfied with your life. For business, entrepreneurs, educators, parents. Hosted by Bruce Langford.

Episodes

Wednesday Mar 17, 2021

Learning the Language of Spirit With India Leigh

Wednesday Mar 17, 2021

India Leigh is a spirit intuitive, reader, clairvoyant, and coach who uses an array of modalities and gifts to help you clearly understand the messages being sent to you by your guides. Using her skills, India will help you connect more deeply with your own divine inner guidance. She also will empower you in coming into more connection with your own divine energy and creative power, aligning your energy, thoughts, words, and actions with your greatest good and highest purpose.

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Contact Info

Website: www.IndiaLeigh.com
Facebook: @IndiaLeigh
Instagram @India4777

Most Influential Person

Wanda Devan, Yoga Teacher

Effect on Emotions

Shattering the idea that I could not control my emotions was the biggest change. You get to your thirties and you think, I guess I'm just an anxious, fearful person, that's just who I am. Noticing that this is a choice I can make and realizing that emotions do not need to rule you, is something you can do.
You are going to feel emotions, but you don't have to let them control everything. It's important to realize that emotions serve you.

Thoughts on Breathing

Breathing is the quickest way to get into the moment.
If you are going in a million directions, and your mind is terrorizing you in whatever way, if you just take a minute and take an intentional deep breath, and pay attention to it, it can fully bring you into that moment.
Breathing is a doorway to get into the moment at any time.

Suggested Resources

Book: Untamed by Glennon Doyle
App: Insight Timer
App: 5 Minute Yoga

Bullying Story

I learned early on, the avoidance tactics for myself. It was looking around and thinking, this mistreatment is possible in the world, but if I look pleasant enough, or look pleasing enough, or if I can just stay under the radar, then I'll be spared from that.
When things did hit me in the face, I learned to defer to those other people in a way of going like, oh, they think this of me. Let's see what I can do about that.
Mindfulness would have helped me if there had been a sense of, you are you and who you are is completely independent of what anybody else's perception is. I think I got a blurry idea of other people's perception versus my own reality.

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Use hypnosis to help others stop struggling with their deep-rooted issues like weight loss, smoking, painful experiences. Are you a coach or a healer who would love to have new skills to help your clients? Hypnosis can help people reach goals faster and easier than you thought possible. Become a hypnotherapist. The Cascade Hypnosis Center offers world-class training. www.CascadeHypnosisCenter.com

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Have you been trying to lose weight? Are you discouraged? It’s not hopeless. YOU CAN DO IT. I coach people just like you. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing hypnotist, and you will get results with my help! I personally lost 35 pounds and I’ve kept it off thanks to hypnosis. Feel good and look good. Believe it. Watch my short video and get 5 Tips on How To Lose Weight For Good. Then book a Free Consultation to get you on the road to permanent weight loss. Join our Beta offer and get 50% off. Go to www.MindfulnessMode.com/weightloss

Sunday Mar 14, 2021

Consistency and Mindfulness

Sunday Mar 14, 2021

Consistency and Mindfulness is the topic today. Do you feel you would be better off if you were more consistent? Would you like to know how to use mindfulness to help you be more consistent? Consistency is something that can help you feel more grounded, with more of a sense of control. When life is confusing, unpredictable, and you lose your sense of stability, then more consistency will help. Today I’m going to share 5 ways to bring more consistency to your life.

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Consistency and Mindfulness

1/ Make Habit Your Friend

Decide what mindfulness activities you want to implement into your life. Make a list and write down or record your thoughts about what you want to achieve.
Promise yourself to do your chosen mindfulness activity for 100 days. Go to Google and search “100 days from today’s date”. It will tell you your final destination date. When you arrive there, you will probably want to continue the idea, but if you don’t you will feel amazing that you nailed consistency.
I’ve mentioned the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg before. It is a terrific book about habit and I highly recommend it. It’s an easy read, lots of interesting stories and it will cause you to look at habit in a new and different way.

2/ Think It Through

You’ve journaled or recorded your thoughts. Now take some of your key ideas, and meditate on them. Narrow the ideas down to a few sentences, record them on your phone, and meditate. This can be in the form of a traditional guided meditation, or use it as a walking or running meditation. Your subconscious mind will process your thoughts. Listen for resulting feedback. In other words, what comes to mind during and following these meditation sessions?
Now put your plans to paper and be definite about what you decide to do. Maybe you’ve concluded that you’ll run for 30 minutes outside everyday for 100 days. Maybe you will listen to your ‘self-bullying thoughts’, and snap an elastic band on your wrist every time you notice one. Maybe you’ll notice every time you judge someone or are critical, even in your thoughts of another person. Switch that criticism into a thought of “I shine light and love on everyone and everything, with compassion”.

3/ Believe in Honesty

Keep your promises to yourself. We usually think of honesty as being truthful to other people, like our family, or others at work.
Actually, true honesty starts with yourself. Notice when you are being honest with yourself and when you’re not. Noticing is the first step. Once you do that, you’ll be able to make a change as to how judgmental you are being of other people and things. Being judgmental is a part of negativity and a lot of times we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

4/ Reward Yourself

Know what mindfulness activity feeds your soul the most and give yourself the pleasure of treating yourself for keeping your mindfulness activities consistent. For instance, maybe you just love taking walks on the beach and watching the water. Give yourself the gift of dropping everything, and going for a relaxing, fulfilling walk on the beach. Just listen to the sounds of the birds, the breeze, and the water. Allow your body and mind to drink in the mindful pleasure of this activity without listening to recordings or feeling you have to accomplish something at the same time.

5/ Intentionally Enjoy Your Mind Break

If you are consistently doing a mindful activity every day, you will get to the point where it won’t be a struggle or a challenge to just go ahead and do the activity. Make a mental note of how good it feels in your body and mind to not struggle with a decision. You are actually being rewarded for having made the decision to be consistent. Life is easier. You have control over this aspect of your life. Taking control of what you can control in your life is freeing.
As humans, we often become anxious over what we can’t control and we forget to notice the things we are able to control at a given moment in time. Put more focus on the things you CAN control. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This book talks about scientific discoveries that explain why habits exist and how they can be changed. Duhigg uses stories to help us understand the power of habit and how we can all use it to our advantage. Another book you may want to consider reading is, ‘Atomic Habits by James Clear.'

Suggested Resources

Book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear
App: Insight Timer

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Use hypnosis to help others stop struggling with their deep rooted issues like weight loss, smoking, painful experiences. Are you a coach or a healer who would love to have new skills to help your clients? Hypnosis can help people reach goals faster and easier than you thought possible. Become a hypnotherapist. The Cascade Hypnosis Center offers world-class training. www.CascadeHypnosisCenter.com

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Wednesday Mar 10, 2021

A New Way to Think for a New World; Francis Cholle

Wednesday Mar 10, 2021

Francis Cholle uses deep human learning and cognitive science to help leaders and organizations solve complex problems and thrive in disruption. A Wall Street Journal and USA Today Best-selling author and international speaker, Francis Cholle has presented at Davos World Economic Forum, on the TED stage, Wharton and Columbia Universities, to name a few. His recent book is called: SQUIRCLE A New Way to Think for a New World. It offers a simple yet unconventional science-based model to make sure decisions in an unsure world.

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Contact Info

Website: www.SquircleAcademy.com
Book: Squircle: A New Way To Think For A New World by Francis Cholle

Most Influential Person

My acting teacher and my voice teacher.

Effect on Emotions

I'm a high-strung, hyper-active person and I've learned through the years, including March last year in the moment of the pandemic and the economic collapse.
I weathered through it when I did the math, where the economy was going was not very difficult to know that we would have more than 100 per cent debt ratio in America.
I was thinking, how is that going to work when you're a small business owner, you're a little boat on a big ocean and it becomes like a tsunami, it's very rough.

Thoughts on Breathing

I took myself and said, you know what COVID is asking us to remember what nature is and that nature rules the world, we don't rule the world. I decided to learn it now, what can you do now? I decided what I can do now is start breathing consciously, be in the moment.
What felt an abstraction years ago when I was studying acting in New York felt very real, very possible, and immediately gave me a sense of peace and I'm telling you
Breathing is so fundamental and so overlooked and so underated.

Suggested Resources

Book: The Intuitive Compass by Francis Cholle
Book: Breath: The New Science Of A Lost Art by James Nestor
App: RespiRelax Cardiac Coordination (When you regulate your breathing you regulate your heart)

Bullying Story

Things that happened between me and my brother and my father, some were violent experiences. They probably have shaped who I am. My father would always say, “Francis, why can't you do things like other people?”
I didn't know I was different from others. This came with some physical brutality. I worked through my stuff just like everybody else.
Recently, I was presenting a typical power lunch in a non-profit organization. I was not part of the lunch. The members were part of the lunch. One of the members was certifying with us in the Squircle program.
This was the beginning of a practicum. She was assisting me and shadowing me in the work. Then at lunch, she said we're bringing this to our non-profit organization for free.
There was a woman who didn't attend the experience because she came late and when it was time to share, she said, “no, I didn't come, I didn't assist, I don't have anything to share.
When the other person offered to share the information with the group, everybody was interested and one person even wanted to sign up for the course.

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Sunday Mar 07, 2021

Transform Your Mindset; 9 Ways

Sunday Mar 07, 2021

Mindset is the topic today. Would you like to tweak your mindset? Would you like to transform it so you can achieve your goals and be the person you want to be? Many of my coaching clients have told me they’re stuck. They say they know what they want to achieve and they just can’t get their mindset on track to accomplish their goals. I’ve been there. I can remember times in my life when I felt like my mindset was holding me back. I didn’t know how to move forward. So, Let’s dig into this topic of mindset. Today I’m going to share 9 ways to change your mindset.

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Transform Your Mindset; 9 Ways

1/ Identify Your Self-Talk

Sometimes I refer to self-talk as self bullying. It’s important to notice what you’re saying to yourself and make a note of the actual messages.
Flip them around into a positive message – like from, ‘I can’t earn money”, to, ‘Money flows to me in abundance’.

2/ Mantras and Affirmations

Many humans experience imposter syndrome at some time or another.

That means that somewhere in your subconscious or even your conscious mind, you believe you don’t deserve your accomplishments. Deep down, you may feel that you’re somehow a fraud. You might have a hidden concern that someday people will find out that you’ve been faking it. Mantras and affirmations can help counter this belief.

The words mantras and affirmations are often used interchangeably, but

They actually have different origins and meanings. Mantras are words, sounds, or just short sound bytes. Sometimes, people associate mantras with mysticism and spirituality and they’re meant to help you gain inner peace.

The ideas of affirmations came from neuroscientists and what they understand about psychotherapy and linguistics. They believe that you can consciously rewire thought patterns towards more desired outcomes by repeating impactful phrases and sentences referring to something you absolutely believe in, or want to believe in, in the present moment.

One of the mantras I personally use is, ‘I am a strong, confident creator’.

I practice a system that uses affirmations, and self-hypnosis, and I repeat 9 different affirmations over and over every day. They help me to work through past experiences and events that I might have otherwise pushed down. It helps me process my ‘pain’, or ‘anger’ or ‘just confused thoughts’ in a positive way. The name of the system is 7th Path Self Hypnosis’.

One of the affirmations is about seeing everyone and everything, with compassion.

3/ Understand the Conscious & Subconscious Mind

Erika Flint, my hypnosis teacher explained it this way. She said, imagine you are looking into a totally dark room. You shine the beam of a flashlight into the room and you can only see one small area of the room at a time. You can move that light beam around, but you're not able to illuminate more than a small amount of the room at any given time.

Then you switch the light on. You can suddenly see everything in the room. That fully lit room is like our subconscious mind. It is filled with a large number of details. Our conscious mind only reveals a small amount at any given time, just like the beam of light revealed.

4/ Spend Time With Like-Minded People

Jim Rohn famously said that ‘we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with’. This relates to the law of averages, which is the theory that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes.

The people with whom we surround ourselves are the biggest influence on our behavior, attitudes and results. The course of your life is set by the people you choose to spend the most time with.

5/ Create New Habits

Habits have been a powerful way I have achieved goals in my life. You can use habits to your advantage to help change your mindset and accomplish some of your most daring dreams.

I encourage you to read a book called, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This book talks about scientific discoveries that explain why habits exist and how they can be changed. Duhigg uses stories to help us understand the power of habit and how we can all use it to our advantage.

Another book you may want to consider reading is, ‘Atomic Habits by James Clear.'

6/ Embrace Your Fears

Don’t stay in your comfort zone. Decide what you want in your life and go for it.

What motivates you? What makes you tick? Some people don’t know. Look back to childhood. Meditate – discover the answers to these questions by spending time alone, in nature or in silence. Maybe for you these answers will be revealed as a result of forms of exercise like running, swimming, or mountain climbing. Once you realize what you truly want in your life, then begin, step-by-step, to make that happen. Make a promise to yourself and be determined to make it happen.

7/ Have a Journaling Practice

In my last point I talked about embracing your fears and I said you need to come to terms with what you truly want in your life. Journaling is a great way to get in touch with what you truly want. A lot of times, we are suppressing our true desires. We are afraid to be vulnerable because we often have fear and pain related to these goals. Maybe we’ve experienced failure. Our subconscious mind wants to protect us. It wants to make sure we’re absolutely safe so it will do almost anything to make sure we don’t experience pain or hurt. Even though it’s protecting us in the short term, in the long term we’re much better off if we’re willing to experience some vulnerability. Step out and have the courage to embrace your fears. Daily journaling is a powerful way to make this happen, and it can speed up the process considerably. Make journaling a daily habit.

8/ Hire a Therapist or Counselor

They will set up appointments and will offer you a listening ear. There are lots of skilled therapists and counselors out there, and many people have been successful with this method of getting unstuck. A skilled counselor will help you work through the inner challenges of what’s holding you back. This is a method to consider if you have exhausted every other method you can think of. Be prepared to be vulnerable and be willing to take the necessary time to make the progress you’re looking for.

9/ Consider Hypnosis

One of the quickest ways to break through your mind blocks and to move forward is to work with a hypnotist. A skilled hypnotist will help you discover what’s holding you back a lot faster than some of the other methods.

Not to say the other methods aren’t effective or powerful, it’s just that hypnosis can be a shortcut into your subconscious to address issues that perhaps you’ve been pushing down all this time. Maybe your conscious mind wanted to protect you and you just haven’t dealt with the issues. Like I said, psychotherapy or counselling can work, but it sometimes takes months or even years. Having a hypnotist help you is usually much faster. Another thing you can do is to learn the skill of self-hypnosis. Most people learn how to do this from a hypnotist who already understands how hypnosis works.

Suggested Resources

Book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear
App: Insight Timer

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Wednesday Mar 03, 2021

The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times; Katherine May

Wednesday Mar 03, 2021

Katherine May is the New York Times bestselling author of Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. A writer of both fiction and nonfiction, Katherine has had journalism and essays appear in a range of publications including The New York Times, The Times (London), Good Housekeeping, and Cosmopolitan. She lives by the sea in Whitstable, England, and is an avid lover of the outdoors.

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Contact Info

Website: www.Katherine-May.co.uk
Book: Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
True Stories Writing School
Podcast: The Wintering Sessions

Most Influential Person

Lauren Rodych-Eberle, Meditation Teacher

Effect on Emotions

Mindfulness has helped me reach a more level situation, to avoid the extremes and to get on top of extremes when they come.

Thoughts on Breathing

I don't enjoy very controlled breathing. I enjoy watching what my breath does, and being with that rather than jumping on top of what it's doing.

Suggested Resources

Book: The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
Book: Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
App: Trello (My to-do list app)

Bullying Story

I was bullied at school a lot because I was so different. Also, I increasing think I was quite unkind to a lot of other people at school as well. It's so easy to recognize your own victimhood without think of the wider impact of that. I was really unkind to some girls at school.
I would never see myself as a bully. I would see myself as very anti-bullying and as bullied, but when I look back I think, how must they have perceived my behaviour?
Mindfulness would have helped. I would have had a sense of my own behaviour, better handling how I was behaving.

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Sunday Feb 28, 2021

Learn Mindfulness From Children

Sunday Feb 28, 2021

What can we learn from children about mindfulness? If you pay attention, you will gather a huge volume of knowledge about mindfulness by paying attention to children. I'm going to focus on the 2 words, ‘What If'. If you find yourself thinking these two words a lot, you may not be as mindful as you think you are. Or those two words may reveal to you why you’re struggling, why you’re not feeling grounded, why you experience scattered thoughts.

Just think about those words for a second. How often do they pass through your thoughts?

What if I don’t finish this report on time? What if that car veers over and hits me head-on? What if I get the corona virus?

We can start a million questions with WHAT IF, and does it do us any good? That’s something we could debate, but lets think for a second about children and how they think. Do any young children you know often ask the question, WHAT IF?

If they do, it’s probably because they’re learned that phrase from adults. In their most comfortable, happiest state, I’ve noticed that children are in the moment and seldom think about WHAT IF.

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7 Ways To Learn Mindfulness From Children

1/ Listen

Listen, Listen, Listen. And as you listen, show interest showed genuine interest, ask questions, smile. When they tell you something, be genuine about, about your interest in what's going on in their minds and in their life. Sometimes it's important to get down physically on their level and then just listen to what they have to say. And I can't emphasize this enough. Being a great listener is such an important skill to develop and we can always improve at being a better listener.

2/ Find What Activities They Enjoy

Find out what activities they truly love and show interest. Now, my son loved Pokemon for a long time. So I would learn the names of some of the characters and ask him how he was doing in his recent Pokemon games. And, and I would ask him about YouTube videos that he would look at that were about Pokemon.

And I think that made a difference. I think it's really important to show genuine interest and find out what children really love. Like when I go into classrooms and I'm with children. They sit up and take notice when I say, hey, so what games do you like to play? Or what do you like to do after school? Or, you know, things like that. And it just shows genuine interest. So find out what activities they love.

3/ Know Their Name

It's so easy to mispronounce some names and I can be the world's worst at that at times. But when I'm with a group of kids, whether I'm teaching mindfulness or I'm at a school filling in for a teacher, I make an effort, a real true effort to get their name right.

And I tell them that right at the beginning of the day, I say, look, I will put every effort into getting your name right. And if I get it wrong, please, correct me. I want to know your name. I want to say it right. And you know, you've probably heard this before. There's no sweeter sound and hearing your own name. Of course don't overdo it. It's gotta be natural. It's gotta be comfortable when you refer to that, that person, but really make an effort to use the person's name. Use that child's name

4/ Tell Stories

Like most humans, children love stories, and they learn from them. And they particularly like stories about topics of their own personal interest. Makes sense. Right. If you know the child likes spiders, like they just have this really profound interest in spiders, then tell a story about a unique spider web you once saw or a story about a movie where there was a spider featured. If you really allow yourself a moment to think about it, you can probably remember an appropriate story. It might even be a post that you noticed on social media that relates to spiders.

5/ Offer Encouragement

5/ Offer Encouragement. So be as upbeat as possible and say at least three or four positive comments compared to every less positive comment. So now this takes a lot of practice and skill to do this, to convey lots of positive comments compared to your negative comments.

And as adults we're used to noticing what's wrong and then commenting on things, noticing what the child is doing wrong or what they need help with, you know, telling them how to do it. We're used to telling them to settle down, be quiet or be more careful, all these kinds of things. Aren't really the most positive. I mean, obviously you have to say things like that sometimes, but try to balance those kinds of comments off with statements like, wow, I noticed how quiet you were while the baby was sleeping well, that's, that's great. Thanks for doing that. Or, or gee, you're getting really good at putting your boots on yourself. Wow, terrific. You know, children really respond to that kind of thing.

6/ Show Relaxed Body Language

Children are reading our body language all the time and it speaks volumes to a child.

So yes, the words we say are critically important, but our body language can be very, very important. A lot of times we're in a hurry and we have to go and do so many different things. That busy and frantic frame of mind can display itself in our body language. So, so take the time to notice yourself and you know what? You might even, you might even try this. Use a video camera or your phone to shoot some video of you spending time with your child. Notice your body language. You might be surprised what you see on that video. And of course, make sure you get permission from anybody who might end up being in the video.

Showing relaxed body language and being aware of the body language that you are showing is a skill that takes time to develop.

7/ Smile and Laugh

7/ Smile and Laugh. I think we don’t laugh enough in life. When you spend time with children you see that they love to laugh. They love to smile. In their natural state, they are pretty happy.

They just really want to focus on what’s happening at the moment. They become connected with what's going on at the present moment. And I think the more we can go with the flow and encourage a happy pleasant atmosphere, the better it is. So smile and laugh as much as you can and you will become more mindful. And if you can become more mindful in your life, you, you will have less anxiety. You will feel more grounded. You will feel more focused. There are so many benefits to being more mindful.

Suggested Resources

Book: Mop Rides The Waves Of Life by Jaimal Yogis
App: Insight Timer

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Wednesday Feb 24, 2021

Rising Above The Bully and Trauma; Dr. Lin Morel

Wednesday Feb 24, 2021

Dr. Lin Morel is a pioneer in connecting the dots between our spiritual nature and everyday life. She is the author of a number of books including 3 on the bestsellers list and her most recent book; Beyond Lovelyville: A Parable of Self-Awareness and Rising Above Trauma. A survivor of multiple traumas, Dr. Lin is dedicated to helping others transform their trauma into an inspired positive life. She invites you to join the joy movement and become a positive force for change.

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Contact Info

Website: www.DrLinMorel.com

Most Influential Person

Christ

Effect on Emotions

It takes a lot for me to get upset. I used to be hair-trigger because of my sensitivity.
When I am upset, I know there's a breakthrough or something for me on the other side.

Thoughts on Breathing

My current spouse taught me to drop my abdomen because my umbilical cord was too short, so I had a physical issue with breathing.
I learned how to release it so now I can oxygenate my entire body by pulling in breath from here, from here, from the top to the bottom. It's kind of an energetic thing.
I can hold my breath for a very long time.
Breathing is a tool and if we become mindful, if we can expand with the breath, it's awesome.

Suggested Resources

Book: You Can't Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams
Book: Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach and Russell Munson
App: PQ Intelligence
App: Dr. Barry Morguelan of www.EnergyForSuccess.org

Bullying Story

I was chubby, I was uncoordinated. My parents house was messy, kids weren't allowed to visit. I was ridiculed and not invited to parties, or they planned parties and changed the date so I would show up a week later. Cruelty like that. People would knock my books out of my arms at school, stamp on my pens, called me names.
That all stopped when I started the martial arts. But what the damage had done, did not stop because I felt different, which I was. I was not standard issue.
I loved books and I loved nature. I would be much rather be sitting on a roof with the ladder pulled up, reading, or on the tree across the street where no one could get me.
I didn't know how to handle bullying. What allowed me to move into a space of self-confidence, was the martial arts. It was such a serendipity.

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Upcoming Event

Bruce is speaking at this upcoming event called Tell Your Stories. If you’re in business, make a lasting impression on your potential clients with your story. My friend Elizabeth Johnston is The Story Expert, as well as a Literary Prof at Concordia University in Montreal and an On-line Teacher. She is hosting an online retreat that will unearth your stories. You’ll learn: • why story is important • the power of story circles • how to connect story to your business, and so much more! Here’s the link to register: www.MindfulnessMode.com/TellYourStories Dates: March 3 to 5, 2021

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Sunday Feb 21, 2021

Transform Broken Relationships Using Mindfulness

Sunday Feb 21, 2021

Transforming broken relationships using mindfulness is the topic today because my listener, Monica, responded to my request on a previous show. I asked listeners to send in show topic requests and then I'd send out a Mindfulness Mode mug to the person who submitted the topic I chose. That is Monica.

Mindfulness Helps

Having interviewed over 600 guests for Mindfulness Mode, I’ve certainly gained a lot of expertise on how mindfulness can help a lot of aspects of your life. I don’t consider myself a relationship expert, but I do know that mindfulness can make a huge difference when interacting with people and when building and growing relationships.

Thinking way back, I remember my first wife getting really angry with me and taking off her ring, dropping it in my shirt pocket, and then telling me in no uncertain terms what I could do and where I could go.

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If I had known then what I know now, I would have handled the situation completely differently. What led up to that emotional explosion, would have been different too. I would have used my mindfulness skills to be better connected so that she knew I had no intention of being a schmuck.

In spite of that memory, the marriage was mostly positive with very few disagreements. The reason the marriage ended was not because we didn’t get along.

I’ve now been married over 20 years to an amazing woman and the mother of our son. She’s taught me a lot about relationships and, interestingly, so has my son.

You Can Improve Your Skills

Mindfulness definitely takes a central role in what I’ve learned about making relationships work.

Here are seven important points about using mindfulness to improve broken relationships.

1/ Believe in You - You are enough, you are a gift, you are meant to be here, you are talented and valuable. Learn to love yourself and your relationships will prosper.

2/ Listen with your whole self – Listen with your eyes, with your body language, with your words. Repeat things back, practice every day being a great listener.

3/ Be A Giver (Give 110%) - Giving is what feeds us. Have you ever noticed that if you are feeling down and you decide to help someone or be a giver, then you immediately start to feel better? It’s true. Being a giver helps you and the other person.

Learn To Forgive

4/ Forgive – If you’re not able to forgive people for things, you probably aren’t able to forgive yourself for some of the things you’ve done. We traditionally think that forgiving is for the other person, but it is actually a huge benefit to you. Forgiveness allows you to let go of anger and pain that has been holding you back.

5/ View others with compassion. – If you pay attention to your inner voice, you will notice that you sometimes judge others or situations and you may be missing some compassion at times. If you practice viewing everyone and everything with compassion, your relationships will begin to change. The way you think will begin to change. You will start to feel more fulfilled, more content, and happier.

6/ Honesty – Be honest with yourself. When making commitments to yourself, don’t cheat. Be true to yourself. Being truly honest with others will help your relationships as well. Practice being more honest in your life and it will have huge benefits.

7/ Practice Gratitude – Be grateful, even for the little things. Sometimes we dwell on what is going wrong, or what is holding us back, and we might say to ourselves, I don’t have anything to be grateful for right now. Step back a bit and be thankful. Consider using a gratitude journal. Write down 5 things you’re grateful for every morning when you first wake up.

Conclusion

If I had known these seven Mindfulness Tips about relationships, my ex-wife would never have dropped her ring in my shirt pocket, and life would have been different. But it’s not too late for YOU to make a difference with your relationships and start practicing these tips every day.

Suggested Resources

[show-notes-resources]

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Wednesday Feb 17, 2021

Your Life IS Meditation; Mark Van Buren

Wednesday Feb 17, 2021

Mark Van Buren is your go-to guide for all meditation and mindfulness-based training. With well over a decade of experience in the field, Mark instructs meditation workshops, lectures, professional development days, corporate wellness classes, and silent retreats in a practical, yet accessible way. He offers simple tools and practices that can reduce stress, help with anxiety and depression, manage pain, and transform the many difficult aspects of life. He holds a bachelor's degree in religious studies and in recent years has become a best-selling author.

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Contact Info

Website: www.AuthorMarkVanBuren.com
Book: A Fools Guide To Actual Happiness by Mark Van Buren
Book: Your Life IS Meditation by Mark Van Buren

Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

The emotions are still the same; they come, they go. I am able to relate more skillfully and wholesomely to them most of the time. There's definitely more space, less identification with them. I can be with them [emotions] without getting swept away.

Thoughts on Breathing

The breath and the body are great anchors. The breath is always right there. The body is always in the present moment. To feel yourself breathing, you are already connected to your life and to reality.

Suggested Resources

Book: A Fools Guide To Actual Happiness by Mark Van Buren
Book: Your Life IS Meditation by Mark Van Buren
Book: When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
App: Insight Timer

Bullying Story

I've been in both positions [bullied and bullier]. As a result of being bullied, I can very easily shut myself off as a protection mechanism. That's something that I've had to work with.
As soon as I get into an argument with somebody, I can shut off, so it doesn't matter what you say to me, it's not going to hurt. Then I can come back, [saying] you're not going to hurt me because I've cut myself off. I'm going to be the one who's going to hurt you. That's the way that I've grown up as a way to keep myself safe.
For me, mindfulness is realizing that the other person is a person. When you're younger and you're making fun of somebody, I don't think you make that connection.

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Sunday Feb 14, 2021

How Mindfulness and Hypnosis Connect

Sunday Feb 14, 2021

Hypnosis, much like mindfulness, is a powerful state of focused awareness. Mindfulness can be used to become more grounded and more content. Hypnosis is a specific tool that can help uncover and dissolve the root cause of many issues people suffer from every day. Hypnosis allows you to access healing resources within the subconscious mind, promoting natural healing from within. Hypnosis is used to help people discover the subconscious reasons for their symptoms, behaviors, or habits. When these reasons are discovered, certain tools and techniques are used to help release them and relearn a new positive way of thinking, subconsciously. Hypnosis has been sanctioned and used by the medical community since 1958 to help patients overcome chronic pain, create anesthesia, and heal psychogenic illnesses.

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Mindfulness Connection To Hypnosis

Mindfulness will teach you to live in the moment, focus on your breathing, and realize the value of gratitude. Through mindfulness, I have learned to experience a state of focused awareness and daily meditation has improved my life greatly. As a result of meditation, I feel more grounded, more focused, and definitely more connected to my emotions. Hypnosis can be used in the form of self-hypnosis or a hypnotist can help you achieve a state of hypnosis and deal with issues that are holding you back.

Effect on Emotions

Hypnosis can help you become more aware of your emotions and deal with specific issues that are causing you to be stuck or frustrated. Many people have used hypnosis successfully to change mind blocks and move forward in life in order to fulfill their goals and dreams.