Mindfulness Mode
 

Mindfulness Mode

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Increase your calm, focus and happiness so you can be more relaxed, contented and satisfied with your life. For business, entrepreneurs, educators, parents. Hosted by Bruce Langford.

Episodes

Be The Leader They Want To Follow; Tressa Yonekawa Bundren

Thursday Jan 12, 2023

Thursday Jan 12, 2023

Tressa Yonekawa Bundren will disrupt your life in the best ways. She is an award-winning mindset, leadership, and relationship keynote speaker and facilitator. Her university degrees and lifelong interests have led to over twenty years of specializing in expanding and elevating neuro-cognitive leadership behavior and connection skills for critical relationship dynamics. She is a multi-million dollar medical staffing corporation founder and leadership consultancy co-founder, mom of girls from the foster-adoption system, autism services specialist, and international author. You can reach her at TressaSpeaks.com

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Contact Info

  • Website: TressaSpeaks.com
  • Book: Listen Leader: How To Be The Leader We Want To Follow (Upcoming this Spring 2023)

Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • I have choices every single day that I get to make, in better ways, because I get present. Am I ever triggered? But far less often, and in far less, like harmful, self-harmful, and otherwise harmful ways in the world?

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Let's all just take a breath together. What difference does it make in our lives in the world? It can change everything. When I've been in an argument with my partner, one thing that he's done that has been profound is he'll just stop and open his palms toward me and say, I just love you. And it's hard to scream into that void of love and calm and breath.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • The instance that I remember so vividly of being bullied as a child was riding the bus home, and there was an older boy who just always was alone. And he would like to throw things at those of us who were younger and kind of push us over and tell us to get out of the seat, that that was his seat. And he lived out close to me. So we would drop him off first and then head to my house. And one day, like, I could just see that he was sad.
  • And I was like,  are you okay? And not, not from a place of being in his face, but just like, I'm concerned about you. Are you okay? And he stopped. And he never bullied anybody on that bus. Again. He didn't say a word.
  • That's the power and I learned really young that, that if we can be compassionate, does it always work? No. But does it work? A lot of times, if somebody doesn't feel that they're like onstage or trying to save face, or, you know, that kind of thing, if we can just have that moment of connection, it makes us both human. It lets that person know that we see them.

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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The Mindfulness Of Learning

Monday Jan 09, 2023

Monday Jan 09, 2023

Learning and mindfulness are closely related. Some of the benefits of learning new skills and new ideas are:  it gives you motivation, helps beat boredom, boosts confidence, keeps you healthy, helps you be flexible, can benefit others, and learning can boost your happiness levels.
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Here are 7 Ways Learning New Skills or New Concepts Can Help You:

1/ Learning Feels Good

Wordle and similar puzzles have become incredibly popular. This is because we enjoy learning and love the rush of adrenaline when we succeed at solving a puzzle or accomplishing a challenging task. Allow yourself to enjoy these kinds of winning experiences. The good feeling can be shared when we get together and play games with family and friends. There are more and more games being created every year, and they can help us satisfy a particular human need. Three new games came into our home this Christmas, and every one of them contributed to this feeling of pleasure as I learned how to play them with my family and friends.

2/ Creates New Neuropathways

When you are learning something new, does it feel like your brain is using extra resources? Do you feel as though your brain is using more energy than normal? That feeling is what results from new neuropathways being carved out in your brain. We’ve been hearing about this concept for quite a while now, and you can test it out for yourself by learning a new skill, a game, or solving challenging puzzles. Pay particular attention to how your brain feels as you are learning this new material. I think you’ll agree, it’s important to give your brain new challenges every day.

3/ A New Perspective On Life

When I was 37 years old, I decided I wanted to learn downhill skiing. This was a skill I had always admired, and now I was determined to be a downhill skier myself. Not only was this an exciting venture, but it definitely gave me a new perspective on life. Standing at the top of a long, steep hill, and looking down at the valley where I would be skiing, gave me a completely new perspective on life. As I became better at skiing, I was aware that I began to feel different about my life. I felt more confident and more accomplished. This feeling drifted over to other aspects of my life as well. I was having more fun and had more to look forward to as I planned future skiing trips and even short skiing adventures.

4/ Staves Off Senility

I believe that keeping your mind active and robust is one way to help stave off senility. My great-grandmother and my grandfather both lived well into their 90s, and I can remember my grandfather always making an effort to learn new things, he had a great sense of humor and was always conversing with nurses, support workers, and visitors after he moved to a nursing home. I frequently played favorite songs for him on my accordion, and he was always eager to learn all about what was happening in my life. He was curious and was constantly learning new things.

5/ Creates A Winning Mindset

Being a lifetime learner can help you live with a winning mindset. Everything is perspective. Some people find it easy to focus on the negative and be immersed in a lot of bad news. It’s one thing to be a realist and be aware of what’s happening in the world, but when you focus too much on the negative, it can take over your outlook. Having a doomsday outlook doesn’t feel good for most of us. I’d prefer to choose to learn new skills and fresh ideas every day because I believe that contributes to a winning mindset.

6/ Helps Combat Depression

If you are suffering from depression, please see a professional. My mention of depression here is not referring to clinical depression, but instead that state where you feel down, discouraged, and you generally lack motivation. For me, there is nothing better than setting out to learn a new skill when I’m feeling down. Sometimes I have to give myself a huge push to make it happen, but once I do, I feel a lot better and am happy that I gave myself that necessary shove in order to move into a better place. I’m well aware that sometimes it feels impossible to do what I’m describing, but hang in there. Keep moving forward. Listen to podcasts, read books, learn crafts or how to cook a new recipe, or even write a journal entry. These are only a few examples of how to use learning and mindfulness as a way to stay on top of things and move forward.

7/ Increases Connections To Others

I notice that when I get discouraged, I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and hide. I have to fight that urge and force myself to get out and be with people. At the same time, learning new skills gets me motivated to reach out to others. As a result, I feel more upbeat, and my life is more satisfying. How about you? Is this true for you? I’d like to hear from you as to whether you believe that learning new skills increases your connections to others. I’ve found this to be true when I travel to conferences, and not only am I learning new information, but I get excited about meeting all kinds of new people. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com – Let me know if you believe that learning new skills increases your connections to others. I’d love to have you share some examples that I can mention on the show.

 

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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The Upside of Downsizing; Matt Paxton

Thursday Jan 05, 2023

Thursday Jan 05, 2023

Matt Paxton is one of the top downsizing and decluttering experts in the country. He is the host of the 2-time Emmy nominated series Legacy List with Matt Paxton on PBS and was a featured cleaner on the hit television show HOARDERS for 15 seasons. Matt is also the author of the best-selling book, Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff. Paxton started cleaning out houses after his father, step-father and both grandfathers died in the same year, and this is the reason Matt has been working with families struggling with hoarding and downsizing for 20 years. Matt appears regularly as a public speaker, television guest, and radio personality helping families and companies find the upside of downsizing. He lives in Atlanta, GA with his wife and 7 kids. Yes, 7 children.

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Most Influential Person

  • His Dad

Effect on Emotions

  • Compassion, it's all about compassion. It's all I just see the other side now.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Getting my sons to breathe well is important. When they get upset, just deep, deep breathing and slow down. Pause. Deep breathing.
  • I say, stop, and I put the horse blinders on. We take them to the other room, and I pull them out of the situation because we have nine people now, and we get a very quiet space. And I look at them as they look me in the eye. Deep breaths and it just brings it down quickly without elevation.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I have seven kids. So bullying is a big issue for me. Take it with hoarders, too. A lot of my hoarders are made fun of constantly. I was on a TV show that put a mental health disorder on television. There's an ethical dilemma right there from the beginning. And so when I tell a reminder, guys, we gave everybody therapy, we would give them a year of therapy on the back end. And if the TV show didn't pay for that therapy, I don't think it would be an ethical show, honestly.
  • And so why I'm saying this for the bullying question is what hoarding did for me was it really forced me, at an extreme level, to be super compassionate and understand why the person behaves the way they do. There's always a reason someone behaves the way they behave.

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life

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Cultivating Financial Intimacy; Hannah Koenig

Monday Jan 02, 2023

Monday Jan 02, 2023

Hannah Koenig is a business and financial educator, speaker, and founder of The Lead Well Summit. Her work is centered around helping entrepreneurial leaders build wealth and become well-resourced by cultivating financial stability, sovereignty, and sustainability. Hannah has been featured in Forbes, NPR, Thrive Global, Woman Entrepreneur, CBS, NBC, and more.

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Most Influential Person

  • Her grandmother

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has taught me to honor my emotions and to be able to just feel them and to be with them even when it's uncomfortable.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is like a life force, the breath and the awareness of the breath and the time spent. Intentionally breathing enriches my experience of being alive.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I grew up below the poverty line. We were on food stamps as kids and we did our back-to-school shopping at the only thrift store in town. It was a very small town and on bag day, which means for $1 you can fill up an entire grocery bag full of clothes, which meant I was wearing my peer's clothes to school, and I remember being teased about that. I don't know if we're in fourth or fifth grade.
  • And I think mindfulness would have given me the ability to realize that there wasn't anything wrong with me. And that the person who was teasing me, you know, that was their own projection and their own story.

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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Break The Cycle of Uncertainty; Becca Ribbing

Thursday Dec 29, 2022

Thursday Dec 29, 2022

Becca Ribbing is the author of The Clarity Journal and has been a coach for over a decade. She's on a mission to help people break out of the cycles of uncertainty and struggle that hold them back. She helps women going back and forth with the big, seemingly endless question of what to do next—so they can stop going around in circles and finally figure out what they truly want and create the clarity and momentum they crave. So many people find themselves stuck and unsure of their direction. Using journaling prompts and helping people become more honest with themselves, she moves her readers forward gently and empowers them to embrace their strengths while letting go of any negative self-talk that has held them back in the past. She's been on many podcasts, including “What To Read Next” and “Say Yes.”

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Most Influential Person

  • That 13 year old girl

Effect on Emotions

  • I think my emotions have helped me be aware. The thing that helped me do the most is to apologize because if we can be mindful about what we're doing, we can't always control our emotions.
  • However, we can always control our response to them, at least after the fact, and make sure that we repair them. Break The Cycle

Thoughts on Breathing

  • As someone who has a perpetually stuffy nose, I think this is where we get into adults have a lot of rules for breathing. And it is okay if you have a deviated septum or if you have allergies like you don't need to do it, quote, unquote in order to do it right for you.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I homeschooled my son for a couple of years and when I first started homeschooling him, what everyone would say is; how is he going to make friends? How is he going to socialize? That's what I thought of when you thought of homeschooling.
  • They knew my kid was a social butterfly. The question everyone asked me was, how was he going to learn to deal with difficult people?  Break The Cycle
  • They may be in bullying situations, like in the most extreme, but they are not being treated well. They could be in a bad situation and for that nine months are gonna be stuck with that teacher they don't like and who doesn't like them. Then it changes, or it doesn't.
  • Because if it's a kid, and you just happen to be in that class again next year, then we're actually teaching kids that they don't have control over it. I see adults playing this out over and over and over again. Break The Cycle

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a life coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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Sentiments Of An Award-Winning Writer; Jennifer Steil

Monday Dec 26, 2022

Monday Dec 26, 2022

Jennifer Steil is the author of Exile Music, which won the Grand Prize in the Eyelands 2020 Book Awards; the Multicultural and Historical novel International Book Awards; and was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Lesbian Fiction Award and the Bisexual Book Award. Previous books include The Ambassador’s Wife, which won the 2013 William Faulkner-William Wisdom Creative Writing Competition Best Novel award, the 2016 Phillip McMath Post Publication book award, and was a finalist for the Bisexual Book Award and the Lascaux Novel Award., and The Woman Who Fell From the Sky.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • I suppose I'm less anxious, I'm more able to ground myself in moments of panic, whatever I'm panicking about. So I think it helps me be less reactive and less defensive.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I was kidnapped at gunpoint when six months pregnant. And it was yoga breathing that saved me and my daughter. And I remind her, every time she makes fun of me when I'm doing yoga, I say yoga saved your life, which is breathing saved your life because it helped me. Sentiments Of An Award-Winning Writer
  • Because of the stress of that situation, I was having premature contractions. And I was worried I was about to lose her. And so I had to calm down. It was a matter of life or death. I didn't know that the only way I knew how to calm myself down is breathing.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • My daughter has actually had a terrible time in three different schools with bullying. And I felt quite powerless to help. We got the school involved, we got teachers involved, and yet, it didn't help.
  • I would love to hear your thoughts on how to help a child who's in that situation, I think, when I was growing up, I never listened to the word bullying. We just didn't talk about it that way. When I look back at my childhood, I was not a popular child, I had no social skills. I was bookish, I was awkward. And people made fun of me a lot.
  • I remember in the girl's room in third grade, girls climbing over the top of the stall to make fun of me, on the toilet. They make up rhymes about me on the playground. In seventh grade, they made fun of me, because I did well in school, which was not a popular thing to do. I mean, one positive thing I see in my daughter's schools is actually the most popular kids also are the ones who work the hardest. And I'm like that was not the case. When I was little, it was cool to be a slacker. It was not fantastic to work hard.

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life

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Self-Actualization Through Mindfulness; Nicholas Gregoriades

Thursday Dec 22, 2022

Thursday Dec 22, 2022

Nicolas Gregoriades is a South African grappler who was the first jiu jitsu practitioner to have been promoted to black belt by the legendary Roger Gracie. Gregoriades is an accomplished competitor in the sport of BJJ, being also one of the founders of the “Jiu Jitsu Brotherhood”, a community/association with affiliates all around the globe. Nicolas Gregoriades was also part of “London Real,” a successful online podcast, having since left LR to join Digital Communion.

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Most Influential Person

Effect On Emotions

  • I'm very emotional and very passionate. It may not seem like it now because it's after lunch and my energies are dropping a little bit. But generally I'm extremely emotional. I love very intensely but I also hurt very intensely. And having a mindfulness practice is just the way to regulate and to cope with my emotions and to be able to separate myself from them.
  • I realize that these feelings that I'm experiencing aren't necessarily me. I can create a bit of space between myself and them, and ultimately that will allow them to dissipate in the process.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • The breath is the bridge between the body and the mind and some say between the physical and the metaphysical, the finite and the infinite. I work with several breathwork practices. Every morning, I do a breathwork practice.
  • I do the Kundalini Breath of Fire for 11 minutes, and I find that practice energizes my body and also changes my mental state. And I think that the key thing is that your breath and your mental state are inextricably linked. If one changes, then the other usually changes.
  • So if you're in your head and panicking, if you slow your breath down, generally it changes that as well. So those are my thoughts on the importance of breathing. Self-Actualization 

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I don't want to say there were many instances when I was bullied as a kid, there were a few instances where I was a bully. I did this very interesting exercise the other day in which I wrote down everything that I've held against myself or that I'm holding against myself. Everything as far back as I could go, starting with stealing this kid's pocket knife when I was six. There was a whole list of things all the way up until now.
  • The thing that I found that was very interesting is, once I made that list, the next step in this exercise was to forgive myself one by one for all of these things. Self-Actualization 
  • I realized there were a few things that I was holding quite a strong resentment for towards several people in my life. There were incidents that had transpired in our relationships. When I looked at this list, I saw that all three of those things were similar to other things I had done to other people in the past. And the reason that I was holding on to these resentments and was unable to forgive those people was because I was unable to forgive myself for the same thing. Self-Actualization 
  • So I think if I had been a more mindful person when I was younger, I don't think I would have attracted that kind of energy from others. That is because I wouldn't have felt like a victim. Secondly, if I had attracted it, I would have been able to let it go more quickly; just to let that negative set of emotions go. I would have been able to process those emotions and let them dissipate. Self-Actualization 

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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Sex and Consciousness; Heather Shannon

Monday Dec 19, 2022

Monday Dec 19, 2022

Heather Shannon is a Certified Sex Therapist who helps motivated clients to discover their sexual selves and deepen their intimate connections. She and her staff have helped thousands of clients with sex and relationships over the last 11+ years of her private practice. Heather has appeared in The Daily Beast, Hustler Magazine, and on podcasts such as The Horny Housewife for her expertise on sexuality and is a Sex and Relationship expert for the Peanut app, which serves over 2.5M women across all stages of life.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • I will be really honest, this is still a work in progress for me. I noticed that I'm a lot kinder to myself about certain emotions. And then I also noticed that there are other emotions where I can beat myself up still. Then I'm just noticing the judgment that's still there. And like, okay, like, this is still here. This is something that, I can still work on, but then it's almost like not judging myself for the judgment. So can be a few layers there.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • That's a good one. Because I do think breath can help us a lot with sex. Oftentimes, in bed or not, we can kind of tense up and almost be holding our breath. And a lot of people tend to do that leading to orgasm, especially if you're somebody who maybe struggles with orgasm. Try deep breathing, try relaxing your muscles a little bit, and just see how the energy flows with that. Sex and Consciousness
  • But with me, I've done all sorts of different breathing. I've done some, like Holotropic breathwork workshops that I've attended. I've gone through periods where I do the Wim Hof YouTube video in the morning. Dr. Andrew Weil has the 4-7-8 breathing technique for relaxation. Sex
  • I noticed when I'm stressed, my breathing is more shallow and tense. And it's like a clue to me, like a signal that I can relax a little more.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I've seen this more than once, where one partner is kind of pestering, coercing or manipulating their partner to have sex with them. Now that you're kind of bringing mindfulness to it. I actually think that's a huge component because one of the main reasons I got into sex therapy is because I think the way the culture is, there's a lot of shame and stigma around certain aspects of sexuality. Sex and Consciousness
  • It could actually think male, bisexuality is one of those. I think there's a lot of men who have interest in some other men, but you know, are kind of told like, No, you're either gay or straight. There's no woman who can be bisexual. So I think that when there's an area of shame or stigma, or when someone's feeling hurt, and rejected, and maybe doesn't have the capacity, or the training or the skill set to be with that because I think mindfulness is a lot of that is being with whatever your experience is, they kind of gets more emotionally reactive. Sex and Consciousness
  • And I think that's where sexual bullying can come in. So I think if people are able to develop the capacity to accept themselves, to not judge their own sexuality, to not take their partner's maybe lack of interest personally, and you just see that, like, that's what's going on in their mind, you know, looking away that has nothing to do with you. And to process any hurt that you have without judging it. I think that's huge.
  • So I feel like when you do that, it really frees you up to have great sexual communication, which is, you know, another topic on my early podcast. Because it's key, it's like, if you can communicate well about sex, you're gonna probably have a pretty good sex life.

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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Changing Moods In A Single Beat; Wayne Altman

Thursday Dec 15, 2022

Thursday Dec 15, 2022

Wayne Altman currently owns multiple online businesses all designed to enrich the lives of his customers and his community. His latest initiative is Melody Clouds, a subscription relaxation website and app with 8000 hours of Solfeggio, Binaural Beats, Guided Meditation, and 16,967 audiobooks all designed to relax and educate its subscribers at a price point other services just will not touch. Wayne has determined that the healing and beneficial effects of this technology should be available to everyone who wants it. So, Melody Clouds is translated into over 100 languages, and its membership spans across the globe.

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Most Influential Person

  • Charlie Word – His Sunday school teacher

Effect on Emotions

  • Empathy? Being empathetic to someone; you have no idea what they're going through or what may seem like negativity or what may seem like bullying. Put yourself in the other person's position.  Changing Moods

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Keep doing it. The minute you stop that activity, they are really in trouble. And you know what? I had a very good commander in the military that always said, when the bullets are incoming, the first thing I like to do is close my eyes and take a deep breath. I thought wow. Like, remember to take a deep breath.
  • Take a deep breath and relax and then go about doing exactly what it is you need to do. Don't panic is really the message there. Changing Moods

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I was bullied in high school by a guy and he won't mind me sharing the story because it's actually pretty funny. Years later, he was the one that was actually being bullied. He tried to put that off on me and I wouldn't have it. Changing Moods
  • A very good friend of mine lost his child at eight years old to bullying. Oh my gosh, yeah. Anyway, my kids know, not only do they not bully other kids, they don't witness it either without getting themselves involved. So, just as a word for everybody out there; I don't put up with it at all. Changing Moods

Related Episodes

Special Offer

Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach, and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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Embrace Peace This Season

Monday Dec 12, 2022

Monday Dec 12, 2022

Embrace Peace is the topic for today. What are we truly searching for? Is it happiness, joy, bliss, or maybe it’s comfort, elation, or satisfaction? The meanings of a lot of those words overlap. I don’t feel like it’s normal to feel blissful all the time. Bliss is at the high end of the happiness scale. Then there’s contentment and peace and calm. That’s at a different place on the happiness scale. I believe, for most people, being calm and focused is part of being happy. I also think being calm and focused is part of having inner peace.
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What Are We Searching For?

During the holiday season, we hear a lot about peace. We notice the word in songs and movies and just as an expression when someone says, they just want to experience some peace in their lives.
Peace comes from within. As we learn how to find happiness and joy, we start to realize that inner peace is at the root of all the good feelings we’re looking for.
After interviewing over 750 guests for Mindfulness Mode, some common themes have started to become obvious. One of those themes is that if I am living with contempt for myself, at any level, it negatively affects everything about my life. It certainly affects how I treat others and how good I feel about my life.

Love Yourself?

I’m sure you’ve heard people say that ‘to truly love others, you have to love yourself’. When I first heard that, I thought it sounded strange, and I realize I’m not the only one who had this reaction. Whether you call it ‘loving yourself’, or ‘being positive about who you are’, or ‘avoiding self-bullying’, all of those perspectives are similar. To move towards a happier, more peaceful life, it’s necessary to start liking yourself, or loving yourself, as the phrase indicates.

One of the ways to start feeling more positive towards yourself is to feel and show compassion as much as possible, in as many circumstances as possible. One of my mantras is centred around seeing everyone and everything, with compassion. It’s easy to be compassionate about family members you love, or even random strangers. But try having compassionate thoughts about someone who hates you or has inflicted harm on you. That’s when it becomes really challenges and requires daily practice.

Embrace Compassion

Once you can start to feel compassion even towards the most difficult people and situations, you will start to have more kind thoughts about yourself. If there is someone in the world who hates you, remember that the hate they hold is about them, not about you.
This is easy for me to say, but not as easy to truly grasp and live by if someone in your life hates you. A person who holds hate is filled with inner hate themselves and they don’t have any idea how to find inner peace and happiness because they are so filled with anger and hate.

What About Grief?

Let’s talk about grief. Grief can be overwhelming and can make you feel like there is no hope. Grief has to be embraced and we have to live with the pain and experience the darkness that grief brings. Some people sink deeply into their grief and take months or years to come out the other side.
Other people can experience grief for less time and then move forward. You’ve heard guests on the show talk about feeling the pain and moving toward the pain instead of trying to resist it. When you try to resist the pain, it lasts longer and can be more intense. Zig Ziggler was know to say, ‘What you resist, persists’.

Feeling Sad?

During this holiday season, you’ll hear all kinds of happy reminders of the season, including sleigh bells, cheerful song lyrics, partying, happy celebrations. Does all this ‘happiness’ make you sad or bring you down? That’s not unusual. You share this trait with hundreds and thousands of people.
Notice how you are feeling in your body about this happiness around you. Does it make you angry? Does it cause hurt and pain somewhere in your body? Narrow down the area of your body where you feel this pain and anguish. Close your eyes and think about the pain and anger in your body that is related to the happiness of the season you’re constantly being reminded of.

Body Scan

Now narrow that feeling down even more. Is it in your neck or shoulders? Is it in your chest? Maybe it’s in your gut or your lower back, or your knees. Do you feel an ache?
Take the time to do a body scan. Go to a safe, quiet place, close your eyes and begin to notice how you feel in each area of your body. Start with your head, your forehead, and your temples. Then move down your body and be aware of any pain or discomfort in each body location.
You can repeat this practice until you are aware of where the most pain resides in your body. If you meditate, this can be part of your meditation practice. You will become more and more aware of where the most pain and anger reside in your body. Allow yourself to move toward the pain. Embrace what your body is experiencing and focus on it.

Wishing You Peace

Spend time with others who have this sense of peace that I’m talking about. You’ll experience this in animals as well as humans. Other beings can be very calming and comfortable to be around, or some can have the opposite effect. Put some effort into being around those who are calm and peaceful and you’ll start feeling more calm and peaceful as well.
As we move through December, I wish you the very deepest level of peace that you can possible achieve, whatever PEACE means to you. It may be happiness, a form of bliss, a feeling of calmness or focus, but more than anything, I wish you peace.

 

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Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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