Mindfulness Mode

Turn Jealousy Into Personal Peace

July 11, 2021

What could make your life 100 percent better? A lot of people think more money would do that, or materials things like a boat, a new car or a beautiful new home.
You might be thinking that better relationships would vastly improve your life.
Ultimately though, what do we want as humans so that we can feel good more of the time? Because I talk about your inner bully, and so many of you relate to that, I think having personal peace on a daily basis would be a fantastic thing to have in life.

Does personal peace mean the same thing to you as contentment? Does it mean the same thing as calmness? For me, I think personal peace is being calm and content and peaceful all at the same time.

To me, happiness is something that comes out of being calm, content, and peaceful. I think personal peace is a great goal to strive for.

Today I’m talking about jealousy and how to convert it into personal peace. Jealousy is something that feels very negative, very nasty to me.

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What Is Jealousy?

Although it is not usually considered to be a primary emotion such as fear, sadness or joy, jealousy is an emotional process that is clinically and socially relevant to psychologists. Jealousy is an emotional response to the threat of losing a valued relationship to a rival.

Jealousy can stand in the way of living your life as a secure and fulfilled individual. Though it's a natural emotion, you can learn to control the negative aspects of jealousy.

Understanding and overcoming your jealousy can be a way of better understanding yourself and what drives you, and ultimately can make you a healthier, more well-rounded person.

A Toxin

Jealousy can cause all sorts of nasty feelings, can ruin relationships, and can also be like a toxin inside us. There have been times in my life when I realized I was feeling jealousy. You know what? I immediately wanted to push that feeling away. I didn’t want to believe that I was feeling jealousy. Now I realize that it’s important to identify that feeling and notice exactly how it feels in my body. The answer is, it feels like toxin. It feels like sticky, yucky, gross, poison. As soon as a allow myself to notice how gross and ugly it is, it becomes way bigger and more noticeable.

Then I make note of what I was feeling jealous about. I write it down. I write about that particular aspect of my life. I notice that I have to force myself to do this, because it doesn’t come naturally.

Breathe

I take a few deep breaths, and make myself stay with this activity until I have at least 200 words or so. I like to write using my computer, so I can see how many words I have written whenever I want. I find typing to be therapeutic, and so I just keep writing until I feel like I’ve at least partially covered the topic.

I realize I’ve been jealous of people who have, what I consider, a nicer house than me. Or a more awesome car, or a more recent one. After I start writing about it, I start realizing how much I actually have. I realize that I’m happy with my house, my car, and my personal stuff.

Of course, sometimes I’m jealous of someone’s talent or skill. Lots of people have skills that I don’t even come close to. Leadership skills, speaking skills, athletic skills. I mean, no matter what ability I can think of, I know I might meet someone tomorrow that has way more skill in that area than I do.

Move To Gratefulness

Again, I know that if I meditate on that subject, or write on the topic, before long I’m feeling grateful for what I have, and I realize that I have a beautiful life in so many ways.

So the way to turn jealousy into personal peace, is by first, identifying the jealousy, then being direct and thinking about all the aspects of whatever it is that you're jealous about.

Then start converting your thoughts to gratefulness. You'll find you're grateful for many things in your life, and once you start truly thinking about what you're grateful for, the jealousy begins to deflate, it begins to fade away.

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