Mindfulness Mode
Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health; Mike Schauch

Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health; Mike Schauch

March 6, 2022

Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health is the theme of today's show and I have a guest with me who is passionate about the mountains and dedicated to helping others and has love of the sun. He's a speaker, author, explorer, and mountain climber and he has an intense passion for life. He also has the greatest laugh of anybody I know. He recently spoke at the Vancouver International Mountain Film Festival where he held the audience in the palm of his hands, according to one of the reviews. His talk was directly connected to the eighth person I had on the show way back in 2015; Brent Seal.

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Brent Seal – Mind, Mountains, Mental Health

Brent was a mental health educator and a close friend of today's guest. I'm excited to tell you that today's guest is Mike Schauch.

Bruce: Let's start by talking about how you and Brent Seal are connected through this podcast, Mindfulness Mode.

Brent Seal was one of my first guests on the show back in 2015; a mental health educator, an athlete and a mountain climber.

After Brent was featured on Mindfulness Mode, he recommended that Mike Schauch and Bruce connect so that Mike could possibly be a guest on Mindfulness Mode.

Mike Schauch: My story with Brent goes back about 15 years, actually. And he told me along the way, about his interview with you that he did. That was in the earlier stages of him getting into public speaking. He told me what a good time he had and said, Hey, you should contact Bruce, and you should be on this podcast. I thought, Oh, this is a perfect fit.

Mike Schauch: Brent, and I go back to when he was in university, and I was doing a leadership workshop at the university where he was a student. I was speaking in the auditorium to about 100 people and I remember during the first break, Brent came up to me, and he said, Mike, How do you become a public speaker? And I said, Well, you go out to the public, and you speak. (laughter)

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A Challenge

Mike Schauch: Brent said, I've got this challenge. I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I just said, so? I think that was the spark that fused our friendship. It began a connection that would go on for the next 15 years.

Mike Schauch: We have climbed many mountains together. I watched Brent overcome many mental barriers over the years and also become a very accomplished mountaineer and speaker. He spoke to larger audiences I ever spoke to in the subsequent years and  became an inspiration.

He became an inspiration, not only for the mental wellness community, but for others as well. It was a beautiful thing to see. Unfortunately, last September, Brent died on Mount Manaslu in the Himalaya, just below the summit at around 8000 meters. That news hit the community and his family very hard.

The Event

Mike Schauch: This event that you mentioned in the introduction, that was meant to be an honor. It honored Brent and what he stood for, and in a way to just continue this legacy that he started about inspiring people to tap into their mental wellness and into that language of the heart, to not limit themselves.

Mike Schauch: The message was to continue to take those steps. They don't have to be major leaps forward, but steps forward. And that was part of Brent's brilliance. 

Bruce: Tell us more about your speech at the Vancouver Mountain Film Festival.

Mike Schauch: One of the things I talked about up there was this concept of the Bardo. The Bardo is a Tibetan term. It translates as place of transition, or a transitionary state between between death and rebirth, between who we were and who we become.

We know that the Tibetans believe in reincarnation from lifetime to lifetime. But what they also believe is that we can experience many incarnations in one lifetime and the Bardo is the place.

Constantly Changing

The reason why we can experience those incarnations is because we're constantly changing. We're not the same person we were when we were born; we're not the same person we were 10 years ago, five years ago, or perhaps even last week. And the Bardo is that place where we can choose, you know, what part of me?

Do I want to let go? What part of me that no longer serves me that I can just let it be? And what part of me do I want to carry forward into who I become? And so this was something deeply linked to Brent because I saw Brent go through challenge after challenge after relapse after challenge and use his illness, not as a as a crutch, or some sort of a life sentence, but as a springboard from which he could create new life. 

Brent as Speaker

Brent was inspired by this idea of climbing the mountain and your mental wellness mountain. As a speaker, you could see him evolve over the years.

Brent got more and more comfortable sharing his story, and more comfortable on stage as well. He captivated the audience and could inspire them to move outside of their head and outside of their own belief system.

Brent would mention about embracing the suffering, embracing the struggle, and he explained, when when we do that, it actually gives us fuel to better deal with the future struggles and sufferings that we might encounter down the road. He would say that so often we attempt to suppress the suffering, the anger, the pain, and that's the exact opposite of what we need to do.

Tell Us A Brent Story

Over the years, we climbed all these big mountains and focused on our Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health. One of the most memorable days we ever had was not on some big mountain or a big epic day.

It was on this little winter hike up to a cabin. And to get to the cabin, you had to walk up all these switchbacks, back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth, until you finally got there. We had a beautiful conversation up all the switchbacks, and then it was time to come down.

I was on my skis and Brent was in snowshoes. I would ski down a little bit, and then I'd wait for Brent to catch up on his snow shoes.

Then I'd ski down a little bit more and he'd catch up on the snowshoes. I thought there's got to be a better way to do this. In all the years Brent and I had been climbing together, not once had he ever brought a crazy carpet along, except for that day.

I said okay, we have this crazy carpet, do we have a little bit of short rope. For some reason Brent had packed a little bit of rope. I said, let's tie ourselves together by the waist and I just pointed my skis down and we got going and we started picking up speed.

I remember coming down these switchbacks and then coming up the bank. Brent would come down right behind me on the crazy carpet. He'd slide right up the bank almost flying right into the woods and the rope would catch him at the last second and whip him down the next switchback.

We were laughing so hard, like children. People hiking up the mountain could hear us before they could see us. I was  laughing my head off. They were likely thinking, what is wrong with this guy. Right behind me was this grown man on a crazy carpet.

Bruce: (Laughing) That paints a picture of the title of this episode, Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health.

The Goal Of Your Speech

  • To celebrate and honor what Brent did, who Brent was, and how that connects to who we were in the mountains, which is about listening to that deep place within us.
  • Teach people about that language of the heart. And I think that's innately who we are. Finding that place of stillness again, as we look at what's happening in the world right now.
  • It was about connecting with that deep place within us. The more we can connect with that, the more we can kind of act that out. That's going to send more constructive behaviors, choices, vibrations into the world. That's going to actually help us out of this state that we're in right now. Especially as we come out of COVID and think about self isolation and what that did to us, psychologically.
  • The best way to find meaning and maintain my own sanity through all of this is to connect with that deep place again.
  • It doesn't make sense to get wrapped up in a storm that's not constructive. What's going to help us is connecting with that place of joy, that place of loving kindness, and compassion. That makes us feel good as a human being, from our soul. 

A Time of Meditation

Bruce: During the speech, you had a time of mediation, to reach a spirit of joy. Can you tell us about that?

Mike Schauch: That's really the crux of the whole thing. It was about connecting again, back to who we innately are. Back to that story about laughing with Brent, when we were coming down we were just experiencing that total moment of joy. I mean, that's really what life is about, you know, so we can open ourselves to those moments. It reinvigorates us from the deepest level we can imagine and allows us to connect again with that language of the heart that I think is very much needed today. That takes us back to the mind, mountains, and mental health.

What brings joy to your life?

 The two things that sprang to mind are those two little girls in the mountains, Karma and Pemba.  They bring true joy to my life. 

Humor In Your Life

Laughing and humor is just as natural as that. It's not all the time. If you think about what got us here; there's a Tibetan saying, I heard some time ago: ‘if you could stack the bones of our ancestors, they would be higher than Mount Everest.'

Think about how many people live their lives in a way that allowed us to be here and even you and me having this conversation right now and just the opportunities that we have in front of us?I

t took 1000s, even 10s of 1000s of lives and over many, many years, right? And think about what they struggled with and what actions they took and the courage that they had and all of that. So, if you think about it that way, How can we not be joyful? By being here? Focusing on your Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health.

A Gift From Mike

Because you listened to the Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health episode, I'd love to give away two copies of my book, A Story of Karma: Finding Love and Truth in the Lost Valley of the Himalaya. Again, it's a story of love and joy and human connection, deep human connection across cultures and continents. This is something that can be very helpful today.

Just send me an email: “Bruce@mindfulnessmode.com and put “karma” in the subject line, and we'll get that book out to you. Just reach out and the book is yours for two lucky listeners.

A Poem Written By Mike Schauch

Stillness, stillness.

It is the beginning and the end of all things.

Like the pool of water returned to its natural state,

or the tiny droplet taking rests on a delicate leaf.

It is the eye of the deer.

A dark and endless orb as deep as the universe

filled with a billion stars

is the Great Owl extending from branch and trunk

seeing from behind its yellow eyes.

Hearing what cannot be heard.

Heavenly clouds basking before the Golden Sun,

a great snowy mountain, still as stone,

rays of morning light dipping through the tree tops.

It speaks the language of the Earth,

a language that has been shaped and carved

and created over 100 million years.

It is the language of the heart.

It is where our souls come alive.

It is what we call home.

And so as long as I draw a breath,

I will do my best to move toward that stillness,

to be that stillness.

For that is where I find myself.

That is where we find each other again.

Reminder:

Just a reminder of the free book offer. Listen to Mind, Mountains, and Mental Health episode. The book is by Mike Schauch. It's called, A Story of Karma: Finding Love and Truth in the Lost Valley of the Himalaya. And I can tell you this book was a pleasure to read, it was a heartwarming adventure. The first two listeners to email me will win a free hard copy of the book. Send the email right now, send it to me bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with karma in the subject line. Thanks for listening, mindful tribe. take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm focus and happiness.

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Compassion As A Life Philosophy; Natalya Hramova

Compassion As A Life Philosophy; Natalya Hramova

March 2, 2022

Natalya Hramova is a compassionate soul who identifies as an entrepreneur, a health coach, nurse, journalist, and professional musician. The author of multiple art-related articles and interviews published in Ukraine when she worked full-time as a journalist. Natalya’s most recent work focuses on the human soul’s struggle. Immigration to Canada has not stopped her from doing what she has always loved – writing while caring daily for patients in one of Canada’s most prominent hospitals. “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”, is her favorite motto, and as a mental health advocate her compassionate care has touched the lives of many. Then continues to inspire her patients, team members and friends to be their best self while facing adversity with courage and have compassion as a life philosophy.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • I learned to be kind to myself.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is a life force, it brings peace and energy, it centers you, it brings you to who you deeply are in your deepest core. So, be with your breathing. Take it with you wherever you go and remember about existence and compassion as a life philosophy.

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Bullying Story

  • First, I was bullied in school as a child. And then later, when I was a young adult, and I studied in Conservatory of Music, I  joined the choir by my friend who was a conductor for that choir and I enjoyed it very much.
  • I noticed that some people in the choir kind of ignored me. They treated me strangely. I wasn't sure what was going on.
  • After several months of singing there. My friend who approached and invited me there. I could see that he was distressed by what he was going to tell me, he asked me to leave.
  • When I asked, what was the matter, he said that approximately 40% of people in the choir felt that it wasn't my place, that I shouldn't be there. He said, Natalia, I am very sorry, but you're Jewish.
  • I just turned and walked away. Then I went to a small room. I bawled my eyes out there. I cried as I experienced this heavy feeling of not belonging and not being loved. I carried that feeling for several years with me.

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Finding Happy

Finding Happy

February 27, 2022

I decided to call the episode, finding happy, this is not easy to do sometimes, and especially when we hear some of the news items that we've been hearing lately, like this the situation in Ukraine, it's absolutely shocking. It's devastating. I mean, I just, I feel terrible about what's happening, and I want to do something so bad, and I've, you know, been doing what I can to share with people and, and show my support in any way I can. But, you know, we do need to move forward. And, and it's important to not become too not to lose sight of the fact that mindfulness is important in our lives, and it's important to do remain grounded and to, and to remain on, you know, in focus and, and keep our goals in sight and so on. And so I thought, you know, let's just talk about happiness.

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Maintain An Element Of Happy

Let's just talk about how can we maintain an element of, of happy in spite of what is happening in the world? And so I thought about it myself thought about, okay, what makes me happy? What, what makes some of my guests happy?

I've interviewed over 700 guests. And it's so interesting to talk about people who value or to talk to people who value mindfulness, and to find out okay, what does happiness mean to you?

How Do You Find Happiness In Your Life?

I began at dinner tonight, because I'm recording this on Saturday night. And I began by talking to my son and my wife about, you know, what makes you happy. And Darlene said, at the beginning, she said, Well, you know, spending time with friends, and she said, of course, with people I love with friends. And then she said later, she said, also being able to do small things, to help people. That's something that just truly makes me happy.

And when I talked to Ben, he said, he thought about it for a minute. And he said, hearing about events, or upcoming activities, and then being able to anticipate them. I thought, yeah, that anticipation of something that you're looking forward to, can be a big part of being happy in life. And so for myself, I thought of, of being happy.

Being With People

You know, it's being with people, interacting with people, helping people, and certainly helping people through coaching and hypnosis, which I do on a daily basis. And, and that truly makes me happy and gives me wonderful, a wonderful feeling of satisfaction when I talk to them. And they tell me how their life has changed as a result of the coaching as a result of the hypnosis that we've done together.

Being With Nature

And other things that make me happy being in nature, seeing and experiencing the sun, which is, of course, part of nature, sunrises, sunsets, just fill me with this incredible feeling of I think contentment, satisfaction, happiness.

5 Ways To Find Happy

I put together five ways to find happy. And those five ways are certainly ways that I relate to I mean, I didn't research this or look it up, I this is just kind of coming from the top of my head.

1/ Being Creative

For so many of my guests and for me as well. Being creative, is a really big part of being happy being contented in life.That could include music. It can include art, painting, or drawing or sculpting or any kind of art at all. It can include writing, because that's a fantastic way that almost all of us can use to be creative on the spot.

Being creative is a is a very effective way to find happy and I think that a lot of people and I think I've had this happen in my life too, sometimes is that we get so involved in certain aspects of our life like earning a living or working for a company or whatever it happens to be and sometimes we forget about the importance of being creative. So no matter what you're doing in your life, see, see if you can add this element, if it's not already there.

2/ Being Active

I find in my life, that being active, is a really big part of finding happy. I think it's because, you know, once you become active, there are those endorphins that are being created in your body, and, and you just, you just feel noticeably better you, your body begins to, I think your body begins to work better, and you begin to just feel more motivated and, and feel more upbeat.

So whether that's running like I like to do, or swimming, or, or lifting, or bouncing, you know, a mini trampoline and, and that helps me a lot. It just gives me an incredible, upbeat feeling. If I bounce on the trampoline for a while, and it's very easy on your joints, easy on your, on your spine, and so on.

There are some ideas, you probably have ideas yourself, what kind of activity is good for you, of course, walking is, you know, goes without saying walking is an absolutely fantastic way of being active. Using that to help you in your life to feel better and to be happy.

3/ Meditating

I'm sure you're not surprised that I'm going to mention this and that is meditating. Whatever form meditating takes in your life. Meditating certainly makes it easy finding happy. It's one of those things that, you know, it's not like the minute I necessarily start to meditate, do I get happy? Or, you know, maybe it's not just after a couple of days of meditating.

It's the continuous process of meditating. Then I'll suddenly stop and think, oh, wow, you know, I feel really good. I wonder if it's the meditation that I'm doing. That is giving me that calm, grounded feeling. I believe it is a lot of times, and one of the reasons is because I interview so many people, and have interviewed so many people who have told me the exact same thing.

So it's not just me thinking this, it's a lot of people thinking that whatever form of meditation that may take in your life, it's probably going to help you to feel more grounded, more centered, to feel happier. That's a way to find happy.

4/ Smiling

It's such a basic thing. But have you ever noticed that if you just you're doing something you're busy, or maybe not even thinking about anything other than you know what you're focusing on at that minute, if you stop and you smile, it immediately can make you feel a different feeling in your body.

Smiling has quite a powerful effect. Do you notice it? You pay attention to the emotion you're feeling when you when you begin to smile. It's really quite incredible. There are reasons for it, of course. We don't even need to talk about what those reasons are just the fact that if you just stop and smile, even if no one's around, then that can really make you feel happier. Of course laughing even more so.

There's laughing yoga, you'll know about that from from different podcasts when we've talked about yoga laughter. And, you know, just laughing. What I'm told is that you don't have to have an actual reason for laughing. If you just begin to laugh. Your brain doesn't need you to have an actual reason for laughing. If you start laughing, it just immediately makes you feel better.

Try it, experiment with it. It certainly worked for me. You might want to, you know, join a yoga laughter session. You can do that online. And it's really fun. It really is.

5/ Helping People

The fifth one is something I've already mentioned. That is helping people just helping people and practicing your ability to feel passion for every person. And if you start helping people more than maybe you regularly do, you'll probably begin to feel more passion for other people.

As you do that, you can up it a little bit more think, hey, what would it be like, if I felt even more passion for people, if I felt more supportive toward other people and caring toward other people really truly care about my neighbor, no matter what they're going through, no matter what their beliefs are, no matter what their opinions are about things, no matter what they've done to me in the past, is there a way to feel passionate toward those people? Well, I've asked myself that question about lots of people?

The answer is, yes, there is a way, there is a way to feel more passion for people. I find, when I practice, that, that ability, practice feeling more passionate, toward people, toward you know, anyone at all.

Certainly I can single people out in my mind that I want to feel more positive about, I want to feel good feelings about that person. And I simply just think about that person, and what it would be like, if I could feel more passion for that person, then I end up feeling a lot better, I feel more grounded and just feel happier. I definitely do.

Start Now

Finding happy in your life. That's what I've been talking about today. And, you know, if you're experiencing a rough time, if you're experiencing, you know, trauma, or you feel like your life is just sinking, or you're on a downward spiral, maybe you're feeling like there's just something that you cannot move past. Maybe you have a habit that is pulling you down with incredible weight. Well, whatever, maybe pulling you down, you know, there are ways through this, there are ways to get to the other side.

This is what I've experienced with my coaching clients and mindful tribe. If you are experiencing any of these challenges, and you'd like to be able to move through it. Well reach out to me, and let's jump on a zoom call. Let's talk about what we can do what I can do to help you with this. I can help you through hypnosis and coaching and help you move through some of this.

Let's talk about the possibilities.You can do that simply by sending me an email and putting in the in the subject line coaching session. And yeah, it's a free coaching session. My email is Bruce at mindfulness mo.com and I would love to connect with you. So I look forward to that. And I look forward to, you know, creating even more episodes, so that I can I can connect and help people just like you.

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Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life
Elite Strategies For Peak Performance; Anastasia Pavlatou

Elite Strategies For Peak Performance; Anastasia Pavlatou

February 23, 2022

Anastasia Pavlatou is a rowing coach and athlete, having achieved over 80 medals in rowing, including both indoor rowing and coastal rowing with Elite Strategies For Peak Performance. Coastal rowing is a more extreme, adventurous form of rowing, usually taking place along a sea coast and out into the rough sea waters, resulting in exhilarating speed and thrills. Anastasia has a degree in sports management as well as a degree in business administration. She has expertise in the topic of stress, having specifically studied pre-race stress in rowing athletes. She is also well versed in the languages of ​​English, French, Greek, and Sign.

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Most Influential Person

  • Her Father

Effect on Emotions

  • When I started, it was very difficult. But as the years passed, I understood what I needed to do.
  • I feel that during recent years I am more positive, I have a more positive way of thinking.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is very important in Elite Strategies For Peak Performance.
  • For our sport of rowing, you need to breathe a lot, and breath is a very important factor.
  • You must have control of your breath. You have to practice it, so you have to learn how to breathe.

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Bullying Story

  • When young children start rowing they have to learn to be part of a team. Some children are sure about themselves and can stand on their foot (have confidence). They can be part of a team, but the others you have to put in a lot of effort to make them part of your team. Some children have difficulty getting involved.
  • I tried to be the person who introduces this team spirit and help the children get to know the names of the other athletes.
  • Some people wanted to feel safe where they are (stay in their comfort zone). So, if you can boost them a little bit, I feel that then they can develop confidence. They can achieve this from my program, Elite Strategies For Peak Performance.

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Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.
The Sun’s Unconditional Love

The Sun’s Unconditional Love

February 20, 2022

The sun's unconditional love is expressed in a poem that tells us that, ‘The sun never says to the earth, you owe me.' Last week we talked about building a love-filled relationship and this week I'm continuing with the theme of love. Last week was Valentine's Day and last week was also my wife's birthday so I chose to talk about unconditional love. A few minutes ago, I found myself looking out the window at this beautiful day with the sun shining so warmly, and yet it was a snow storm on and off. It was just one of those incredible beautiful days. The sun streaming in the window reminded me of this very short little poem that has been a favorite of mine for a long time. The first time I heard it was from Dr. Wayne Dyer.

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The Sun's Unconditional Love

The poem goes like this: ‘Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, “you owe me”. Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.' (Hafiz)
What a beautiful metaphor the poet created, to think of the the Sun and the Earth as humans. Many times I look at the sun and I think about this poem. If you look up the background on this poem, you'll find out that it's credited to the poet have Hafiz. Hafiz was a 14th century Persian Sufi poet. There is some controversy about the origin of the poem. Some say it was really written by Daniel Ladinsky. If you look up the information about this topic, you'll find out that Daniel Ladinsky included this poem in his 1999 publication called, The Gift. Ladinsky studied the poet Hafiz and put together thoughts and ideas based on his studies and what he what he actually thought that Hafiz would write. The poem I shared was not a straight interpretation of a poem. In spite of the controversy, I think this poem is a beautiful way to look at and understand unconditional love.

Look At The Love In Your Life

Do you have this kind of unconditional love in your life? Do you love another person this way? Or does that other person love you unconditionally? On this episode, I've shared some things to consider about unconditional love. Do you keep score in your relationship? Do you expect something in return for the love that you give to someone else? Do you feel the love you receive is attached to certain behaviors?

Being Human

The fact that we're human means that it's not realistic to have complete, unconditional love 100% of the time. Sometimes it's natural to expect reciprocity. Often we want something in return for the love we give, and sometimes we just need it. The more unconditional your love is, the more your relationships will thrive. Loving someone unconditionally can bring you incredible happiness and joy.

Loving Satisfaction

Most experts agree that you'll feel a high level of satisfaction if you love someone else as unconditionally as you possibly can. When you expect people to give back for all the good things you've done, you'll probably find that people will start to avoid you. And you'll probably find that those relationships are not particularly strong.
I believe a lot of people haven't considered the difference between conditional love and unconditional love. That is certainly the case with me. For many years I didn't think much about the difference between these two kinds of love.

Defining Unconditional Love

What is unconditional love? To love unconditionally is to love without expecting anything in return. You might call this, loving someone with no strings attached. To love someone unconditionally, you have to be able to overlook their flaws and, and not expect any benefits from the relationship. You will be happy to simply have that person in your life. If you're a person who loves someone with all your heart, and you only care about the happiness of that person, then it's very possible that you love them unconditionally.

The following are four specific indicators of unconditional love.

1/ Seeing Beyond Their Flaws

If you love someone unconditionally, you find it extremely easy to forgive them for something that they've done. It would have been a big deal if anyone else did it, but when you love unconditionally, you don't give up on the person and you don't judge them negatively. You don't decide to exclude the person or not have anything to do with them. You don't want to punish this person because of what they've done. You see the person beyond their flaws and their mistakes.

2/ You Will Sacrifice For Them

Even though it may be difficult, unconditional love means you’ll be willing to stand up for your loved one, no matter what. You’ll be ready to do something for that person, even if you lose something yourself. It takes a lot of courage to sacrifice something dear to you for a relationship. You might even take the blame for something or put your self-respect at risk, just to see that the other person is happy.

3/ This Love Can Only Be Felt

Unconditional love can only be felt. It's impossible to describe your love fully in words. The feeling you have for that person is difficult to communicate no matter how hard you try. In spite of that, you just keep trying and trying. With unconditional love, you're vulnerable and honest about your feelings and you feel like you understand each other, even beyond words. When your love is unconditional, you're only concerned about giving and not about receiving. Your emotions and how you handle them are a powerful indicator of unconditional love. Even though you may feel anger, frustration, or hurt you continue to love the other person.

4/ It's Easy To Love Their Imperfections

Even your love one's imperfections seem lovable and precious. Others may see their flaws, but to you their flaws and their mistakes are just part of who they are. They're just part of that person's perfection. You find it easy to forgive them and accept whatever flaws they may have. In spite of their imperfections, you're still able to open up your heart instead of protecting yourself and closing off your love.

Other Kinds Of Love

Unconditional Love is the most beautiful kind of love, but it isn't the only kind. There are a lot of people in the world that live their whole lives being in relationships where there are certain conditions associated with their love. The relationship may be with a close friend, a sibling, a baby, a child, a teenager, or it could be your partner. The first step to having unconditional love is understanding the concept.

Start Now

If you truly want to improve yourself in your relationships, start to gradually implement some of the concepts I've described. By doing this, you'll move towards stronger and more meaningful relationships. Once you experience this change, you will probably want to keep building your relationships and make them stronger by applying more of the strategies and becoming even more determined to love unconditionally.

If you always think of the other person before yourself, and you're always willing to support the other person and do whatever you can to understand their point of view, you'll be well on your way to loving on conditionally. See you on the next episode.

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Master the Art of Public Speaking; Brenden Kumarasamy

Master the Art of Public Speaking; Brenden Kumarasamy

February 16, 2022

Brenden Kumarasamy is the founder of MasterTalk; he coaches ambitious executives & entrepreneurs to become top 1% communicators in their industry. He also has a popular YouTube channel called MasterTalk, with the goal of providing free access to communication tools for everyone in the world. Let's learn how to Master the Art of Public Speaking.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • Regarding emotions, a quote that I came up with in my basement a few years ago, the quote is, ‘perspective frees us from the chains of constant complaining'.
  • So when you have perspective around everything, well, maybe let's say, Bruce, you weren't late. But let's say Bruce was late to the interview. It's very easy to make an assumption. You weren't late of course, but we can assume that, oh, oh, maybe Bruce doesn't want to do the interview.
  • Maybe we start to invent these stories, rather than just going, Hey, maybe there's a perspective that something's happening in Bruce life that he couldn't be here.
  • So when we start to have more perspectives, what happens is we become more mindful of other people.
  • So I would encourage people to go back to increasing their perspective. Be more curious, ask more questions, rather than give statements. The art of public speaking is improved as we become more aware of our emotions.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I'll be honest, I've read the Wim Hof book. I've done the Wim Hof breathing.
  • I need to be better at this this. It's definitely a weakness in my game, but I will say breathing definitely plays a part to it.
  • You know, going back to Mel Robbins five second rule, if you just take that five seconds to breathe, internalize yourself, you're going to be more successful.
  • But I will admit this is not something I do. And it's something I should be doing more often. Breathing can be a good tool to improve the art of public speaking.

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Bullying Story

  • Because I'm Canadian, there wasn't as much bullying as you think there would be. But it did happen a few times here and there, where I would get bullied.
  • In the moment, it feels really painful, because you're asking, so why would a human being treat you that way.
  • I think there are a couple of lessons. Number one is going back to long term vision. Of course, that's harder to do when you're 10 years old. But I think when you focus on how excited you are about the future, in the next step, it helps you deal with the present.
  • The second piece is don't leave it up to you. You know, one of the things I'm the most blessed for; my greatest treasure is not my YouTube channel, it's not my work. It's not my voice. It's the people around me.
  • Just now as I'm speaking to you, I'm thinking about the mentors that have believed in me. The mentors who have bet on me and I go, wow, my life is so amazing.
  • Even if I went back down to zero, even if my youtube channel got canceled, and people start hating, I would think of some of my mentors.
  • So I would encourage people to find friends, and people that you can count on. But more specifically, don't measure your friends based on what they say, measure your friends based on what they do. And this is a big difference. Because a lot of us and this really saddens me, Bruce, is we pick the wrong friends.

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Building A Love-Filled Relationship

Building A Love-Filled Relationship

February 13, 2022

Building a love-filled relationship is the topic today and Valentine's Day is the reason. That's why I'm wearing red and that's why I'm holding up this pink heart. Valentine's Day is very special to me, because I have a special Valentine in my life that I've been married to for a long time. I decided to share with you my ideas about building a love filled relationship.
Here are my top five ways to build a love-filled relationship.
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Listen Like A Leopard

it is important to be a good listener and to make it look like you're being a good listener. Sometimes you can be a good listener, but maybe you're multitasking or you're doing something else. It can be hard to convince someone that you're listening to them, if it doesn't look like you're listening to them. So when you're listening to your partner, not only listen, but be willing to give meaningful feedback, but only when requested. What I've found is a lot of times, my partner just wants me to listen and that doesn't necessarily mean she always wants feedback. As a guy, and I think this is true for a lot of guys, a lot of times we want to fix whatever the problem is. For example, she may start telling me about a problem or difficulty and and all of a sudden my mind is trying to fix it. And that's not always what your partner might want. Give meaningful feedback, but only when requested. Don't try to solve the problem unless you are asked.

The idea of a leopard with it's strength, agility, stealth, elusiveness, and keen perception reminds me of keen, intense listening.

Be Willing To Change

A lot of times you have to change for your own reasons and for your own purposes and so that you can achieve your own goals. But sometimes, you need to be willing to be flexible enough and be able to let go and be willing to change for your partner. If you truly care you will want to become a better you. Put your heart into your relationship in the very best way that you possibly can,

Make Your Partner Feel Special

Get to know your partner on a deep level. Remember the little things that matter, because usually, there are little things that may seem very minor, but sometimes they can be the most meaningful. Do unexpected special things like maybe do the dishes, pick up some clothes, or wash your partner's car. Be willing to make that extra effort to do those special things.

Go Over And Above

Think what you'd normally do for your partner and then do a bit more. It takes some thought to know what you can do that's over and above, but think outside the box. Be willing to do things that might seem a bit crazy or a bit off the wall. Here's an example. Our bedroom is on the second floor of our home and it looks over our backyard. And so I went out there in the backyard and walked in the snow and put the letters L O V E, and then ‘U'. When she opened the blind and looked out into the backyard, there were these giant letters in the snow that spelled, love you. That was a fun, different thing to do.Things like this can really create awesome memories.

Have Empathy

Imagine what it would be like to get inside the mind and heart of your partner. Just take a few minutes, close your eyes, and think about it. Know what your partner likes, for example is it a special scent, music, sounds of the ocean, sounds of the forest, or is it more visual? Shut your eyes, meditate for a few minutes, and focus only on your partner. Think what comes to mind.

Use the above suggestions to help you build an even more meaningful love-filled relationship. Happy Valentine's Day.

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Fear Traps and The Triggers That Keep You Stuck; Nancy Stella

Fear Traps and The Triggers That Keep You Stuck; Nancy Stella

February 9, 2022

Dr. Nancy Stella has been a leading clinical psychologist in the Cincinnati area for over twenty years, co-owning and growing one of Ohio's largest private, multi-specialty mental health practices with over seventy-five providers. Combining her clinical experience with her own healing journey, Dr. Stella developed the Courageous Brain Process (CBP), an innovative, science-based method of therapy. Rooted in the most up-to-date neuroscience, it bypasses the shortcomings of traditional talk therapy to change the way our brains process fear. Her first book, Fear Traps: Escaping the Triggers that Keep You Stuck, gives readers proven practices for building courage and resilience. Ready to find out your Fear Traps and The Triggers? Read on to find out more.

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Most Influential Person

  • I would say its my children that are most influential. I just see them as young children being very present in the moment, whether it be focusing on playing with toys or being upset with each other.

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has given me mind control, so that when I feel an emotional reaction, I can take a step back, and assess whether or not I want to express it, or manage it.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Above all, breathing is critical, because when we go back to the idea of that primitive anxiety brain, how the brain knows that there's danger in the environment is by what we think about and how we breathe, because we breathe differently when we're relaxed versus when we are anxious or energized.
  • That is to say, part of the mindfulness approach is teaching people the deep breathing, so that they can learn to kind of calm that anxiety brain and in turn, it calms the body. Deep breathing is critical in teaching people mindfulness, that goes hand in hand. For example, when people are anxious we start with mindfulness and we just practice for 30 seconds. 
  • Firstly, we'll do the breathing in the office and they have to recognize, okay, just keep doing the deep breathing. While you're focusing, your mind may go all over the place, when you realize it, just bring it back to what you're focusing on.

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Bullying Story

  • When we're bullied, we tend to take things very personally, it's hard not to do that when somebody is bullying you.
  • I have worked considerably with children and using mindfulness to help children learn to not take things personally. As a result, children are often the pawns or victims of their circumstance.
  • Most importantly, mindfulness is learning to recognize and know what you feel. Mindfulness can help particularly in regards to bullying; for instance it can help us develop compassion for the other person.
  • Each of us has our own vulnerabilities in regards to bullying. We bring our own vulnerabilities to the table.
  • To sum it up, somebody who's a bully is often wearing a mask. Therefore, mindfulness helps us learn how to not get sucked in or take the bait, and also how to extricate yourself from the situation. Being mindful is recognizing that it's okay to feel scared, or angry, or intimidated. Those are just feelings, mindfulness helps us learn that those are just feelings and they're not going to last. It helps us move out of the situation.
  • Above all, it's also understanding a bit how the brain works. When bad things happen to us, or when we worry about something, our anxiety brain, it's called the amygdala, is designed to protect us and cause the body to pump out adrenaline. In addition, that part of the brain can't see reality.
  • Lastly, when we become anxious, it doesn't know. Are you worried about being late for work, being bullied,or  about a tiger chasing you? 

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Bob Proctor; Legend and Mentor

Bob Proctor; Legend and Mentor

February 6, 2022

Bob Proctor, Legend and Mentor is the topic of my episode today. I've been reflecting on the fact that my longtime mentor Bob Proctor, has passed. That happened on Thursday, February 3. Bob Proctor has been a mentor of mine since the 80s. Back in the 80s I followed Bob and in the 90s, I was in a mastermind with him. Bob Proctor was
amazing in so many ways. He was deeply knowledgeable and he could talk about and share his wisdom in such a way that you would be able to easily absorb what he was saying. One of the things that Bob would say was, ‘this is not my material.' He would say, This is material that I've learned from other people, everything you're hearing from me, I've learned from other people.

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Who is Bob Proctor?

Not only has Bob been my mentor for a long time, but in my opinion, Bob Proctor is a legend. Stay tuned and I will share why I believe Bob is a legend. Bob is a fellow Canadian, living relatively close by in Toronto. He's a self-help author and for many years taught the law of attraction. Whether you're a salesperson, you're in business, an entrepreneur, he could teach you how to become successful in life. Sometimes Bob identified himself as a philosopher. he was very well-read and mostly self taught. He was born in 1934 and he's best known for his New York Times best selling book, You Were Born Rich and he wrote a number of other books as well.

Younger Years

Bob had low self esteem in his teens and early twenties. He would tell so many stories about his past, stories that would help you connect with him and understand that, he was just an ordinary guy, who at one time was confused and lost. He dropped out of Danforth Tech in Toronto, after he cut his thumb on a bandsaw. And he said that he just didn't seem to have any motivation. He didn't feel like he had any desire to move forward. He talked about how he would go out to the bars with his friends and he was in debt and just couldn't figure out what life was all about.

Firefighter

At the age of 26, he got a job serving in a fire department in Toronto. In that job, he met a guy there who gave him a book. And he says, this was the first book he ever read. And wow, did this book ever change Bob's life. The book was called Think and Grow Rich. And you've probably heard of Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This book, moved him so much that he read it every day.

He told us in the mastermind, he said, “I don't go a day without reading at least a page or two of this book.” And he said a lot of days, I read more than a page or two. And he showed us the book, and it was just worn and tattered and falling apart. And I was like wow, he's not kidding. He really, really read this book a lot, and it just had so much impact on his life.

Today I'm going to talk about a few aspects of Bob Proctor.

1/ Thoughts Are Power

What you think about can become your reality. And in fact, Bob taught you that what you think will become your reality. He talked to us a lot about that in the mastermind, and how, sometimes people think this is nonsense, or that this just doesn't make sense. But a lot of the people who think in terms of poverty, or they think in terms of lack, then that's what they're surrounded by. And he had so many stories to tell you and to teach you how what you think about becomes your reality. And he said that thoughts are sending out something like a magnetic signal that's drawing back to you. In the movie, The Secret which featured Bob it stated that ‘if you can see yourself living in abundance, then you will attract it.” And that's exactly what Bob taught.

2/ The Strangest Secret

Earl Nightingale is someone who made a recording way back in 1959, called The Strangest Secret. He was a radio broadcaster, and quite a famous radio broadcaster. Up to then most of the successful recordings that had been made were singers and musicians. It wasn't an area where there were a lot of successful spoken word recordings. This recording sold over a million copies, which was huge back in 1959. And so Earl Nightingale was awarded a gold record for having achieved this by Columbia Entertainment. What do you think the strangest secret was? Well, basically, I've already told you the strangest secret is that you can and will become what you think about most of the time.

3/ Think and Grow Rich

This book was written in 1937 and was a very popular inspirational motivational book for individuals who wanted to move ahead wanted to reach their goals by learning from important figures in history. It was inspired by Andrew Carnegie. Napoleon Hill interviewed 504 people and some of them were Ford and Wrigley, Wanamaker, Eastman Rockefeller, Edison, Firestone, and also three US presidents. Napoleon Hill  took the information he learned from these interviews, and he wove it into this book. It took 20 years of his life that he dedicated to this.

4/ Mantras

Bob believed in making sure that the thoughts you think are representing what you want in life and so he talked about mantras and how it was very important to make sure that those thoughts going through your mind were positive and were thoughts that could bring in more positivity. He warned you about certain things. He said, for example, don't think I want to get rid of my debt because your brain is going to be thinking about and hearing the word debt. He said that will bring on more debt that's going to keep you in debt.

Instead, he said, Think think things like this; Every day, in every way, I am becoming more and more prosperous.  Here's another one, I am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing quantities from multiple sources. That was another one that he strongly encouraged us to focus on. You can call them mantras or you can call them something else, it doesn't matter what you call them. Bob said, just make sure that the thoughts that you're running through your mind are positive, and that they are representing what you want to bring into your life.

5/ Bob Proctor, Legend

Bob was a legend for so many reasons. I mean, in fact, he was actually asked to write the afterword in the book, Think and Grow Rich. He was a world renowned speaker having spoken in countries all over the world. He was very into thinking up new exciting ways to create and to help people. And, as I've already talked about, he explains that your mind and your body is all about vibration, and humans are capable of controlling your thoughts and therefore our vibrations. He talked about how everything is vibrating molecules and therefore we're capable of controlling our results. Because we are able to think we have thoughts. And he said there's nothing in a person's life they cannot change through thought and the law of attraction.

He taught that having a definite goal is one of the best ways to achieve what you want. And he emphasized to write down your goals and make them clear. He taught us to have a little card that you carry with you that you constantly look at you remind yourself what are my goals? What am I working toward? What do I want in my life? This was something that he emphasized over and over.

He emphasized the law of attraction and he told lots of different stories that would teach us to to think positively and think thoughts that would increase your confidence and increase your abilities, increase your connections with people. He said, The best way to use your mind was to receive ideas from Infinite Intelligence. He also taught us to be aware of our thoughts and think accurately and change our thoughts into the positive so we could move toward what we truly wanted to have in our lives. He also talked about how to avoid anything that could sabotage your success. Bob always dressed for success. And that's why I dressed up today with a tie and nice dress shirt.

Pictures With Bob

I remember one time when my wife and son and I went to Toronto, and saw him and spent time with him there. And he was having a small event that that I was invited to, and it was an event where he was speaking, and so was his wife, because he was supporting his wife in a multi level marketing project that she was working on at the time. Afterwards, I was able to talk to him and get a picture with him. It was incredible to spend time with him and not only hear him in person and be there in his presence, and then be able to walk up and talk to him and ask questions.

The Secret

He's also very well known for his contribution to the film and the book, The Secret by Rhonda Burns. He was a very central part of that. And if you look at The Secret movie, or read the book, you'll see that that Bob was quoted in there quite a bit. It was back in 1984, when he published his best selling book, You Were Born Rich. And that was, I think that's where Rhonda Byrne, the person that created the movie and book The Secret, she became familiar with Bob's book and got to know Bob and, and the rest is history.

Dedicated

Bob was dedicated to helping his followers tap into their inner self. He made it clear that your inner self is what is controlling everything that is brought into your life. It's also controlling the things that you're repelling and therefore the things that are not coming into your life. Whether it's a poor self image or a bad paradigm. He talked about paradigms a lot, and your programming. He would say, maybe it's a bad programming that's leading to poor results.

Vibrations

He taught that everything in the universe vibrates and that these vibrations attract each other. Since humans are capable of controlling our thoughts, and therefore our vibrations, we are capable of controlling our results. So in conclusion, he said there's nothing in a person's life, they cannot change through thought, and the law of attraction. I am grateful to have had Bob as a mentor. Take what we've learned today about Bob Proctor to reach new heights of calm focus, and happiness.

Check out my TikTok channel by searching Bruce Langford. I'd love to hear from you. And as always, take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm focus and happiness. Stay in the mode

 

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Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Like I said in today's episode, I've learned from Bob Proctor, Legend and Mentor and I use my skills as a practicing coach and hypnotist to fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.
Winning Habits and Routines; Mads Friis

Winning Habits and Routines; Mads Friis

February 2, 2022

Mads Friis is the founder of the Growth Island podcast on health, performance, business, and life's bigger mysteries, covering more than 90 episodes with global experts. One of his biggest passions is building health-related impact ventures and during the past years, he has co-built 3 successful startups with KRING. With his background in management consulting experience from Deloitte and his own experience from startups, Mads started actively training startups and worked with +150 global teams. Playing sports at a high level and discovering many studies on personal growth and performance led Mads into a continuous research journey. He found that many resources focus 80% on the problems and only 20% on the solutions. Now he is on the mission to flip this statistic around to help more people. Join us to talk about Winning Habits and Routines to benefit your business.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • There has been a huge impact in regards to becoming aware of my emotions.
  • I try to look at myself from higher up, looking down into myself and to ask what's going on right now?
  • That gives us the ability to actually control the emotions and act in a fruitful way, instead of letting your emotions take over.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is life changing and is the thing that centers me the fastest
  • I learned the breathing method to breathe all the way down your diaphragm and your stomach.
  • Then on the breath out, you do a humming sound like, ummm. You try and get as deep down in your chest as possible for as long as possible.
  • If you do four of those breaths, you'll feel a significant change in your body.

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Bullying Story

  • When you're on social media and you get all of these bad messengers, it can be absolutely horrible.
  • If you try to do something or create something, the more successful you become, the more nasty stuff people will write.
  • I think the best thing is really to breathe, relax, and consider what is your purpose. Then accept that people who write these negative messages are in a very bad place.
  • If you can be mindful and just breathe, I think that is extremely important.
  • The human brain is not wired for us to be happy. It's wired for us for survive. So we see the negative much more than the positive.
  • I can have nine positive comments, but it's still that one negative that my brain focuses on. And that's where mindfulness comes in. It helps me see what's actually important.

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Would you benefit from have Winning Habits and Routines as we discussed in today's episode? I coach people just like you. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing hypnotist, and I've helped clients deal with anxiety, quit smoking, lose weight, and become more confident, thanks to hypnosis. Feel good, look good, and move forward. Book a Free Consultation to begin transforming your life and reaching your goals. . Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘consultation' in the subject line.
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