Mindfulness Mode
 

Mindfulness Mode

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Increase your calm, focus and happiness so you can be more relaxed, contented and satisfied with your life. For business, entrepreneurs, educators, parents. Hosted by Bruce Langford.

Episodes

Digital and Savvy Success; Maha Abouelenein

Thursday Jun 20, 2024

Thursday Jun 20, 2024

Maha Abouelenein is the founder and CEO of Digital and Savvy, a success story in strategic communications. The firm focuses on creating value through powerful storytelling. Meeting Maha at the Collision Conference in Toronto recently #collisionconf was an honor. Maha has more than 30 years of global communications experience. She advises corporate giants and high-net-worth individuals across the world. The company is rooted in building meaningful relationships that yield incredible results. Maha launched some of the world’s largest tech companies in the Middle East from communications, policy, and business development perspectives – from Google and Netflix to Udacity and Careem (Uber) and more. She supported the largest IPO and the largest acquisition in Egypt’s history at Orascom Telecom. She also built sports marketing programs and strategic partnerships for the Olympics, NASCAR, the NBA, ATP Tennis, Golf, and the NFL at consumer product giant General Mills.

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Most Influential Person

  • My father

Effect On Emotions

  • When I feel anxious, upset, worried, or nervous, I take a deep breath and slow down.
  • I always take a deep breath and keep that moment to myself, reminding myself that everything's going to be okay. And you know what? It usually will be okay.

Thoughts On Breathing

  • Deepak Chopra introduced me to breath work a couple of years ago. I spent a lot of time with him, and he always talks about activating your vagus nerve. He taught me to practice inhaling and exhaling one side of your nose and then the other.
  • I believe that just doing that right now can completely change our demeanor.

Bullying Story

  • Growing up as an Egyptian brown girl in Minnesota, surrounded by blonde hair and blue eyes, I stood out as the only diverse student in my school. Throughout elementary and most of high school, I was different from my classmates.
  • Back then, without the Internet, many people didn't understand my Arab and Egyptian background. I was often called names like “camel jockey” or “towel head,” and when the song “Walk Like an Egyptian” came out, kids would mimic the dance at me. I faced a lot of bullying because of my ethnicity.
  • Nowadays, people embrace and celebrate my Egyptian culture, but back then, it was a source of pain.
  • I believe that mindfulness could have made a difference, helping people realize the impact of their words and actions on others' feelings. We've learned and unlearned a lot since then, and I think mindfulness plays a crucial role in that evolution.

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

Deal With Depression By Using Self-Care App, MindStar; CEO Kristin Rulon

Aegis Living CEO and Author, Dwayne J. Clark

Employee To Entrepreneur and Collective Campus CEO, Steve Glaveski

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Atomic Habits For Transformation

Monday Jun 17, 2024

Monday Jun 17, 2024

Atomic Habits For Transformation – the topic of today’s episode. I’ve decided to share with you thoughts and ideas from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. The subtitle is, An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. This book has been recommended by dozens of guests who have been featured on Mindfulness Mode. Do you find yourself being challenged with unproductive habits? Do you set out to cultivate positive habits that promise to transform your life, only to find them slipping away? In Atomic Habits, James Clear illuminates the profound impact the right habits can have on your life. To truly harness this power, you need to delve into the mechanics of how habits work and how to reshape them. When you read this book, you’ll realize that James deeply understands habits and how they work.

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Atomic Habits, the book, will help you uncover the critical importance of habits and the three mindsets essential for cultivating them. You'll also learn about the formation of habits and the four crucial strategies for altering them. Moreover, you'll find strategies to refine and enhance the habits you've already established continuously. If you read this book, you’ll learn about insights from other psychologists and experts on habit formation, exploring how Clear’s ideas resonate with or differ from theirs.

 

Law 1 – Make It Obvious

  • To build and break habits effectively, awareness is crucial. Human minds respond to cues, leading to automatic behaviors. For example, museum curators can identify authentic art due to repeated exposure and subtle cues. Harness this by using habit scorecards, checklists of daily activities categorized as positive, negative, or neutral. This helps identify patterns that aid or hinder progress. By listing and rating your habits, you can understand how your behaviors impact productivity and become more aware of their triggers. This awareness is the first step to making your desired habits obvious and actionable.

Law 2 – Make It Attractive

  • In his second law, James Clear explains that habits operate on a dopamine-driven feedback loop, where increased dopamine levels enhance the urge to act due to reward anticipation. He suggests using temptation bundling, pairing a desired activity with a necessary one. For example, designate work blocks and reward yourself with a favorite podcast during breaks. Combine this with habit stacking for greater effect: after completing a current habit, follow with a necessary task, then a desired reward. Surround yourself with positive influences to boost motivation. To break bad habits, shift your mindset from “have to” to “get to,” associating difficult habits with positive experiences.

Law 3 – Make It Easy

  • “The most effective form of learning is practice, not planning.” Repeating a habit solidifies it in your brain, leading to physical changes and increased efficiency. Clear emphasizes that frequency matters more than duration in habit formation. Humans prefer the path of least effort, making environmental shifts crucial. For example, when introducing new software, ease the transition with training and support. The two-minute rule suggests starting new habits with tasks under two minutes, like reading a page daily. To break bad habits, make them impractical; use tools like app blockers to limit distractions. These strategies simplify habit formation and disruption.

Law 4 – Make It Satisfying

  • You are more likely to repeat a behavior if it is satisfying. Clear explains that humans prioritize immediate rewards over delayed ones. The key to behavior change is that “what is immediately rewarded is repeated; what is immediately punished is avoided.” To make habits stick, you must feel an immediate sense of success. Applying Clear’s laws—making habits obvious, appealing, and effortless—increases your chances of repeating them. For instance, rewarding yourself with a smoothie after exercising links the activity to a positive experience, encouraging repetition. Use a habit tracker to visualize progress and consider an accountability partner to stay motivated and committed.

Summary

  • In Atomic Habits, James Clear emphasizes the importance of creating identity-driven habits for lasting behavior change. Unlike goal-driven habits, which often lead to temporary actions, identity-driven habits align with your self-image, fostering sustainable change. Clear argues that focusing on who you want to become rather than what you want to achieve ensures continuous improvement. For example, if you study two extra hours daily to ace a test, this goal-driven habit ends once the goal is met. However, by adopting the identity of a dedicated learner, you continuously engage in study habits, leading to overall academic improvement. This shift from finite goals to ongoing identity transformation is key to developing enduring, positive habits.
    I hope these highlights from James Clears’ book are helpful for you and inspire you to get the book and read it.

Suggested Resources

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Special Offer


 

Experiencing anxiety and stress? I'm Bruce Langford, a coach and hypnotist. Let me help you overcome your inner critic and regain confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session now to start your journey toward a more fulfilling life. Email bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. Let's schedule a call to discuss your path to a better life.

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Preschool Parenting Secrets; Danielle Lindner

Thursday Jun 13, 2024

Thursday Jun 13, 2024

Danielle Lindner is an author who has released a new book revealing preschool parenting secrets. As a distinguished educator, she is renowned for her innovative contributions to early childhood education and literature. With a Master’s in Teaching and Elementary Education from Fairleigh Dickinson University, Danielle has over 18 years of experience in both public and private educational institutions. She founded the London Day School®, a leading preschool recognized for its innovation. Danielle's books, such as “Sofia the Snail,” “Arabelle,” and “Rupert,” feature enchanting characters and rhyming narratives that address everyday challenges faced by children. Her stories, inspired by real-life issues, provide valuable social lessons in an entertaining format. Danielle’s holistic approach to education emphasizes academic, social, and emotional development.  Her new book is entitled Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years: One Challenge at a Time

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How Did You Get Started?

  • I always loved writing poetry. I actually did it. For my last three credits in college, I did an independent study on poetry, and I had to write 40 poems. And I just really enjoyed that. But I also really loved kids and working with kids.
  • When I started having my own kids, you know, they were always afraid of the dark, and I thought about how I could explain to them in a really simple, easy, and fun way that they're safe and that the things they're seeing are not scary.
  • So I wrote this poem, basically about Sophia, this little snail who's afraid to go into her shell because it's dark in there, so she doesn't want to go to sleep. Then, after I opened my preschool and realized that, wow, there are a lot of kids who are struggling with this, I thought, let me try and self-publish it and get a book and use it as part of a curriculum in our school.

What is Socratic Questioning?

  • I encourage kids to be divergent thinkers by asking questions without yes or no answers, opening their minds. For example, I might have a brown bag with a rubber band inside during circle time. I’ll ask the kids to suggest uses for the rubber band other than holding things together.
  • Their creative responses, like making a fishing line, are amazing. I then ask them to explain how they would do that, prompting deeper thinking.
  • This method helps develop their creative thinking and problem-solving skills. The best innovators think outside the box, so I love fostering this in young kids.

Bullying Story

  • I believe that bullies are often kids who don't feel good about themselves. Feeling good about yourself includes feeling comfortable in your own skin and being able to self-regulate and calm down.
  • If more schools practiced mindfulness from an early age through high school, kids would manage their feelings better, and much of the bullying would decrease.
  • My daughter attended a public high school before switching to a private one, where meditation and mindfulness were required courses. This changed the entire school day and improved conflict resolution skills.
  • We incorporate mindfulness into our preschool gym program starting at 18 months. Waiting until adulthood to discover mindfulness, as I did in my 40s, is a disservice. It should be part of the curriculum.

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

Mindful School Leadership; Daniel Bauer

Learn Mindfulness From Children

Autism Wellbeing; Christian Yordanov

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Naked In The Now; Marijke McCandless

Monday Jun 10, 2024

Monday Jun 10, 2024

Marijke McCandless, author of the newly released book Naked In The Now, is a playfulness instigator and award-winning writer. She is recognized by prestigious outlets, including Spirituality and Health Magazine, Best Self, and Thrive Global. Through her dynamic online writing practice group, Write Now Mind, and a range of personal growth workshops, she empowers individuals to embrace the present moment with joy and authenticity. Her book, with the subtitle Juicy Practices for Getting Present, invites readers on an inner striptease journey towards self-discovery. With a passion for adventure, especially rock climbing, Marijke encourages others to step out of their comfort zones and live fully.

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Most Influential Person

  • Joel Morwood (author of the book called The Way of Selflessness)

Effect On Emotions

  • Mindfulness taught me that emotions can be separated into physical sensations and stories. Once I was willing to focus on the physical sensations and allow the story to go away, I could transmute the experience of a very strong emotion into its native, more pure energy.
  • So, for instance, more anger is actually a form of clarity, but we experience it as anger, and it's an afflicted emotion. So I would say coming back into the body and learning to uncouple the story that I had told.
  • Like, you know, the typical thing, a racing heart, maybe means I'm scared, or maybe it means I'm excited. So, I'm really uncoupling the physical sensations from the stories.

Thoughts On Breathing

  • After 30 years of coaching, I now love breathing meditation. It took me a long time to get there. I always slightly controlled my breath. One of the tricks I used to begin uncoupling the technique was secretly matching my breath to my husband's.
  • I didn't know what the rhythm of my breathing would be, so I had to pay close attention to another person's breath.
  • Also, I have done this with a pet. It taught me not to be in control of my breath. Then I started doing breathing meditation as if I were that other person. I had to completely follow the breath, and I couldn't be even a tiny bit ahead of it.

Bullying Story

  • I wasn't bullied myself, but I experienced childhood abuse at a very young age. My journey of healing has been alongside my husband, who was bullied. He often says that mindfulness saved his life.
  • Bullying can be an isolated incident, a weekly occurrence, or even a daily ordeal. The real challenge lies in how we internalize it—sometimes we take on inappropriate shame or hatred for the bully.
  • We often replay these painful stories in our minds.
  • While society must address bullying, it's also crucial for individuals to move beyond the victim identity. Focusing our thoughts and attention away from the negative energy—whether self-hate or hatred for others—can be liberating.
  • My husband, bullied for years, began to hate others and himself. Mindfulness taught him to sit with his feelings, no matter how difficult, and find peace in the present moment.
  • This practice helped him recognize that he also experienced love and kindness.
  • By bringing his attention back to the present, he could accept his past and choose to grow from it rather than remain trapped in a victim identity.

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

Improve Your Sex Life With Meditation; Dr. Cheryl Fraser

Sex and Consciousness; Heather Shannon

Mindfulness Through Gratitude; Frank Kilpatrick & Rayko

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Getting In The Flow; Joel Bouchard

Thursday Jun 06, 2024

Thursday Jun 06, 2024

Joel Bouchard will discuss the topic of getting in the flow with me today. Joel Bouchard is a doctoral student in psychology at Liberty University in Virginia, a multi-instrumentalist record producer, author, painter, Army veteran, business leader, local government official, and host of the philosophy podcast From Nowhere to Nothing. His podcast explores complex themes such as the messy, misapplied, and contradictive nature of tribalism, commitment as a concept through ontological and ethical paradigms, and the life-encompassing yet nuanced concept of work.
Joel’s diverse background includes discussions on shadow from the perspectives of physics, mythology, psychology, and cultural tradition, as well as debates on substantivalism and relationalism in defining locations. His intellectual curiosity extends to examining Donald Hoffman's ideas on reality and consciousness from “The Case Against Reality,” and exploring metaphysical, epistemological, and ontological aspects of consciousness through documentary scenes. Joel also engages in abstract discussions on the ontological impact of the present and delves into the past from both metaphysical and historical perspectives. His multifaceted experiences and deep philosophical inquiries make him a dynamic and insightful voice in contemporary philosophical discourse.

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Most Influential Person

  • My mom

Effect On Emotions

  • I would say that I've become better at expressing my emotions. My friends refer to me as the robot because I generally tend to be pretty unemotional. And, you know, that's good. It's good to be even-keeled, but it can also be negative if you freeze or shut down when in negative circumstances.
  • So, the biggest impact for me is that it's helped me express happiness and joy and also to be able to identify with emotions without getting caught up in them without being angry.
  • I can identify that this is an angry emotion and a justified emotion. Then I can decide how I should act with this information.

Thoughts On Breathing

  • As someone who's pretty new to meditation, breathing is something that I still struggle with a little bit. They tell you that you're not supposed to breathe loud, but I always find myself breathing loud because I'm using that to focus my attention.
  • In Zen meditation, this is a subject of controversy. Some Zen masters say you can count your breaths, while others say don't.
  • So I mix the two. You know, for the first 10, I count the in-breath and the out-breath, one, two, and then for the next 10, I only count the out-breath. So in one in two, then after that, I go to not counting.
  • But I find myself still breathing very deeply. I think it helps with relaxation and focus. Sometimes, it can steal attention away from the internal focus on what's happening in the mind.

Bullying Story

  • I believe bullying is a problem rooted in a lack of mindfulness on the bully’s part. I have a story about being mindful from the other side.
  • During my time in the army, we had an exercise in basic training where we used pugil sticks, like on American Gladiators, to fight each other. The drill sergeant insisted everyone participate, but I didn't volunteer because I didn't want to fight.
  • At the end, the drill sergeant singled me out to fight the biggest guy, nicknamed the Widowmaker, who was six foot five and 280 pounds.
  • Though I didn’t want to fight, I had been mindful and observed the fights closely. When it was my turn, I pretended to cower, turned to the side, and ducked down. As he came close, I jammed the end of my stick into his helmet, causing him to fall.
  • I won the fight. This experience taught me that mindfulness can help you navigate difficult situations, even when facing a bigger, more imposing opponent.

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

An End To Upside Down Thinking; Mark Gober

Emotional Intelligence Insights; Harvey Deutschendorf

Dream and Visualize For Authenticity; Mary Rechkemmer-Meyer

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Unlearning Silence; Elaine Lin Hering

Monday Jun 03, 2024

Monday Jun 03, 2024

Elaine Lin Hering is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully. A facilitator, author, and speaker, Elaine helps organizations and individuals develop communication, collaboration, and conflict management skills. Her global experience spans six continents, and she has facilitated executive education at prestigious institutions such as Harvard, Dartmouth, Tufts, UC Berkeley, and UCLA. Formerly the Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, Elaine has worked with diverse groups, from BHP Billiton coal miners to senior leaders at the US Department of Commerce. Her clients include American Express, Chevron, Google, Nike, Novartis, PayPal, Pixar, and the Red Cross. Her upcoming book is set for release by Penguin in 2024.[show-notes-bio]

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Most Influential Person

  • Sora Kim (Mindfulness Coach)

[show-notes-influence]

Effect On Emotions

  • I learned a very expensive lesson at Harvard Law School: Emotions are valid. I did not know this from my family of origin.
  • Mindfulness is the awareness of how I am feeling. What emotions are coming up? Can I give them names? Can I label them? Can I interact with them?
  • But any of that action first requires awareness.

[show-notes-emotions]

Thoughts On Breathing

  • We should breathe regularly. Yeah. And deeply. And intentionally, right, the breathing exercises I've learned from my own therapist have helped me. It's nothing novel; four counts in, four counts out. As a singer, we always talked about breathing from the diaphragm rather than the shallow breath. And that's really similar to mindfulness breathing exercises.
  • Again, the question to me is, why don't we do this more often, even if we know it is good for us? Even if we have experienced the positive impacts of the habit of breathing right, according to the pace around us.
  • And that's the opportunity for each of us to choose.

Bullying Story

  • As a parent, I've had conversations about whether my kindergartener is being bullied or is the bully. Bullying is all about impact, regardless of intention. Take the kid who took a pencil to my son's head; the narrative was he wanted to play but didn't know how to approach safely.
  • Bullying fascinates me because it's a disconnect between intention and impact. We often focus on our good intentions, saying, "That's not what I meant." But that doesn't absolve the negative impact or damage done to the recipient.
  • Mindfulness, to me, is aligning good intentions with awareness of their impact on others. Are you receptive to feedback, whether it’s someone saying "I'm hurt" or being silent? How do you reconcile your intentions with the actual impact? This intentionality is deeply interconnected with mindfulness.
    [show-notes-breathing]

Suggested Resources

  • Book: Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully
  • Book: Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World without a Bullhorn by Omkari L. Williams and Layla F. Saad
  • App: The note-taking app on my phone
    [show-notes-resources]

Related Episodes

Nourishing Your Truth and Finding Your Voice; Shauna Reiter

Intuition, Spirituality, and Our Inner Voice; Mary Ann Bohrer

Exploring AI-Enhanced Storytelling; Richard Rosser

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with 'I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Financial Playbook For Change

Thursday May 30, 2024

Thursday May 30, 2024

Colin Sanburg helps business owners discover an effective financial playbook for change in their business. Colin is a multi-business owner and Founder of FinElevate, a strategic finance firm that transforms numbers into profitable insights rather than mere expense categorization. As CEO and owner of manufacturing, distribution, and service businesses, Colin developed a passion for simplifying small business finance and empowering fellow entrepreneurs to achieve their dreams. He launched several mastermind groups, dedicating countless hours to providing advice and support. Over time, Colin became the trusted advisor for financial strategy within his network.

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Most Influential Person

  • My CPA (A Mentor)

Effect On Emotions

  • I can be an intense and critical person. The best thing about mindfulness, for me, is similar to when a speaker doesn't hear themselves say “um.” The first step is to hear yourself say it, so you can eventually remove it from your vocabulary.
  • Mindfulness works the same way with emotions. The first step is recognizing in the moment that you're being intense. Once you master that, you can hopefully catch it right before it happens.
  • The real breakthrough comes when you start to experience the emotion and recognize that it doesn't have to be that way. I'm not there all the time, but when I am, it changes my life.
  • I can decide not to get worked up, accept things as they are, and move on without wasting energy on it.

Thoughts On Breathing

  • I don't know if you're familiar with it, but my favorite breathing technique is the four-sided box breathing. It might have been developed by the military or popularized through their use, but I find it really impactful.
  • When I go on stage, I feel this overwhelming burst of energy. If I don't express it physically, I can't calm down, which is strange because I'm an introvert and don't usually feel this way. It's the best way I can describe the nerves of getting up there.
  • What I found is that using the four-sided box breathing helps. You count a set number of seconds—four, three, five, whatever you're comfortable with—for each part of the breath. You take that time to inhale, hold the breath in, exhale, and then hold the breath out. If you take the same amount of time for each of those four sides and go through a number of cycles, it really helps.
  • It gets tough when you have to hold the breath with your lungs empty. If you can't do that, it's a sign you're breathing too shallow and not getting good enough breaths.
  • For me, it's both a diagnostic tool and a way to force myself to slow down and calm my breathing.

Bullying Story

  • The best example of bullying I've experienced is with a former business partner, a family member whose business I bought into and ultimately bought out. This happened later in my career when I had mindfulness, but I could have handled it better. It was a controlling situation. I ran the business for several years but wasn't the majority owner at the time.
  • Everyone knew it was time for me to buy the company, which both sides believed. However, there was this element of bullying because they knew how much I had invested in making the company successful and how much progress I'd made.
  • The approach was bizarre and unprofessional, with talks about me buying the company but them still controlling it.
  • Mindfulness has taught me a lot. Now, thanks to Chris Voss's book “Never Split the Difference,” I understand things better and don't get upset as easily.
  • The biggest shift would have been to anticipate such situations, not let them visibly upset me, and instead process, plan, and work my way out of it calmly.

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

Embrace Money Mindfulness; Spencer Sherman

Reboot Your Mind So Money Will Flow; Nana Jokura

Become Money Fit With Mindfulness; Todd Christensen

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Core Value Leadership; Andrea Johnson

Monday May 27, 2024

Monday May 27, 2024

Andrea Johnson believes in core value leadership rather than cookie-cutter leadership solutions. She collaborates with ambitious female leaders, founders, community leaders, and public officials who feel stifled and are unsatisfied with their current level of impact. As a certified Maxwell Leadership Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and DISC Behavioral Analysis Consultant, Andrea enhances communication and corporate culture in women-owned or operated teams.
Andrea empowers executives and founders to lead authentically with conviction and confidence. By uncovering their core values, she enables clients to become impactful leaders. Her passion lies in equipping female leaders to define a new culture by trusting their ability to think critically, create imaginatively, and lead effectively.
A Core Values Digital Course and Hybrid Coaching program are offered by Andrea, along with an affiliate program for both. Additionally, she provides a free downloadable Core Values exercise that can be easily completed.

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Most Influential Person

Effect On Emotions

  • I am an enneagram 6. I am on my head, and emotions scare me to death. I have big ones because I'm also an empath.
  • I learned from a counselor that my emotions are like a screen door. Allow the wind to blow through, and don't try to close the door; just let it blow through. If you don't, the door will come off its hinges, and you will have problems.
  • I see my emotions as waves. Sometimes, the waves are big, but the easiest way to survive a big wave is to stand there and let it hit you and then come back up.

Thoughts On Breathing

  • Box breathing is very helpful. I also get heart palpitations. One of the first YouTube videos I put out there is about how to manage the anxiety that I've had for years.
  • I often lie down and breathe. Box breathing is helpful, but I can also hyperventilate easily.
  • So I lay down, breathe straight from my belly, think about it, and count my numbers. It is amazing how quickly that calms my nervous system.

Bullying Story

  • I was the chubby kid. I grew up overseas, and my parents were missionaries. So, I went to an international School in Seoul, Korea. In the 1970s, obesity was not what it is now. We didn't understand it or have as much of it. Being the chubby kid, I was always picked on.
  • I was not bullied the way we see it happen in severe cases. A kid came behind me in 5th grade and stomped his feet as if I was shaking the ground as I walked. He was much smaller than me, so I turned around and leveled him.
  • In a situation like that, it would have been nice to have had some mindfulness and to be able to say this is his issue, not mine. But at 10 years old, you don't have that.

Suggested Resources

Related Episodes

Living A Mindful Desert Island Life; Jason Barnard

Be The Leader They Want To Follow; Tressa Yonekawa Bundren

Evolving Your Leadership and Work-Life Harmony; Andre Young

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Accountability, Purpose, and Community; Nelson Paredez-Parks

Thursday May 23, 2024

Thursday May 23, 2024

Nelson Paredez-Parks sets an example of accountability, purpose, and community. He is a dynamic individual, renowned for expertly transforming the youth in the entertainment industry. He is known for his leadership of The ESI Network, a premier talent management company with over thirty years in the entertainment world. He’s an expert in getting kids into show business as well as navigating the entertainment business with healthy boundaries.
Nelson's multifaceted career includes roles as an actor, commercial casting session director, and a sought-after acting coach. He has guided hundreds of actors through innovative classes and workshops. His industry expertise has been showcased on “Access Hollywood,” “E! Entertainment,” and “Channel 5 News,” as well as in major newspapers and radio shows, cementing his reputation as a leading figure in entertainment.

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Most Influential Person

Effect On Emotions

  • Since I've coached so many people, I feel like I've learned the skills to be able to automatically go there. Obviously, when it comes to personal relationships like marriage, everything's a little bit heightened. With friends, you can operate in one world. With parents, siblings, your wife, your husband, you're needing to set a different skill set and have boundaries. In business I can handle emotions very calmly.

Thoughts On Breathing

  • When I was teaching acting, breathing was definitely an element of it. Many times I will find myself not breathing enough. I will say to even clients when they're going in. Let's say they're auditioning for a big series when they're actors.
  • It is important that you actually shift the other person's breathing. I found that if you're intentional about going into any meeting, if you can shift the other person's breathing within the meeting, you've connected on a whole different level.

Bullying Story

  • I've seen a lot of kids that have been bullied in the process. I had one actor whose friends at school did not appreciate his acting and they would gang up on him and make fun of him because he was not playing sports.
  • We had to come up with a plan. He ultimately had to be removed from the school he was attending and move to another school where he could be in a creative arts program.

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Unlocking Infinite Abundance; Brandon Beachum

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Deep, Confident Peace; Dr. Tara Perry

Offer From Bruce

Seeking relief from stress and anxiety? As a coach and hypnotist, I'm here to help you conquer your inner critic so you can confidently thrive. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘I Am Determined' for a free coaching session. Let me help you pave the way to a fulfilling life.

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Drop Guilt?

Monday May 20, 2024

Monday May 20, 2024

Do you believe you need to drop guilt? Do you feel guilty often, and do you think those feelings of guilt might be holding you back? Let’s talk about guilt. Guilt is defined as feelings of deserving blame, especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: self-reproach. Guilt may also be a feeling of deserving blame for offenses. We can feel guilty for various reasons, including sleeping too much, not providing, not being successful enough, feeling inadequate, or not earning enough money. Stay tuned for a conversation about guilt.

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Suggestions about how to deal with guilt are discussed in this episode. Do you feel your life would be better if you could drop guilt?

Do you find yourself feeling guilty much of the time? Could those feelings of guilt be holding you back? Let’s talk about guilt.

1/ A Genuine Mistake

  • When you've made a mistake, you may feel guilty.In this case, you have to think about what it means to be human. Do you expect yourself to be superhuman?
  • Do you believe when you make a mistake, it is not excusable? Thinking about it this way, you will realize that making mistakes is part of being human.
  • Consider how you can move forward and not make the same mistake again. Think briefly about what led to the mistake, but don’t overthink it.
  • When you have worked through the thought process, move on to the point where you can consciously decide to let go of the guilt and not entertain feelings of guilt about this issue anymore.

2/ When You've Done Nothing Wrong

  • If you determine that your guilt is unjustified, make a conscious, active effort to let go of it.
  • Avoid taking on other people’s guilt for them. It enables them to repeat their mistakes and causes you to suffer unnecessarily.
  • Conflict resolution skills can help you if you’re having trouble letting go. Keep listening to this episode, but remember to seek a knowledgeable conflict resolution coach. This can help you avoid internalizing guilt that isn’t yours.
  • When you meet with conflict, be more assertive and stand up for yourself. Don’t apologize when you don’t need to to end the conflict. Like I said earlier, make a conscious effort to let go of your guilt. Remember that letting go of the guilt is the way to move forward. In this episode, I will talk about the Sedona Method as a way to let go of the guilt if you’re having trouble.
  • Back in 2019, I interviewed Aaron Hunnel. The episode was about using mindfulness to let go of guilt and shame. You can listen by going to www.MindfulnessMode.com/191

3/ Guilt For Others

  • Some people feel guilty over the actions of others.
  • If you’ve figured out that your guilt is not justified, you can go ahead and do what you need to do to let go of that guilt.
  • Some people take on other people’s guilt. Doing this will keep you from feeling calm and relaxed because you have little or no control over other people's actions. Make up your mind to stop feeling guilty for others.
  • You're in the right place if you’re wondering exactly how to do that. You’ve identified this issue, so now you're much closer to letting it go.
  • Hold a pencil in your hand out in front of you. Look at the pencil. Decide to let it go. Decide to drop it. Then, drop it. Did the pencil fall, or are you still holding on to it? We can decide in an instant to drop the pencil. That is the same with guilt. You can decide to let go of it or to continue to grip onto it. That is the basis of the Sedona Method.

Summary

  • Today, I’ve touched on some aspects of guilt and how it can hold you back without realizing what’s happening. You can learn a lot more about how guilt holds you back. The best way to do this is to study your own thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. As I mentioned, journaling is one way to do this. Meditation is another way.
  • I strongly recommend meditation if you don’t already have a meditation practice. Get started by making a commitment and spending just two minutes a day. I’ve devoted entire episodes to meditation so I won’t go into more detail here, but I can tell you this simple practice has helped many people. I’ve interviewed a lot who will tell you this very fact. I hope this insight into guilt has been meaningful for you

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Experiencing anxiety and stress? I'm Bruce Langford, a coach and hypnotist. Let me help you overcome your inner critic and regain confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session now to start your journey toward a more fulfilling life. Email bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. Let's schedule a call to discuss your path to a better life.

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