Mindfulness Mode

Building Peace Into Parenting; Nellie Harden

September 12, 2022

Nellie Harden is a Family Life & Leadership Coach who focuses on helping parents eliminate power struggles with their daughters and help them grow into confident, wise, and respectful young women that are actually ready for the world! Nellie is a wife and mom to 4 daughters, an author, speaker, podcaster, homeschooling parent, and adventure chaser. She has a degree in biology and psychology and a diverse behavior background from humpback whales in the South Pacific to teens and parents in homes across the world. This mom believes in a life of intention and making dreams and goals realities. She knows that the best way to help the world is through one living room at a time!

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Effect on Emotions

  • Instead of emotions, being in the driver's seat, I've been able to step back and see where the emotions are coming from because before they're an emotion, it's a thought.
  • So if we look at our thoughts more as a busy airport, and we're taking the ones and sitting in the plane, if you will, of the ones that we're choosing, and then we're on the flight, we're actually feeling something about it, we have power over that choice, right.
  • I know emotions can get carried away super quickly. I've definitely experienced that today. But understanding that I am choosing to have this, and I have a lot more control than I ever thought I did before has been very empowering. Because you can step out of the emotion then, and look at it from a third-party point of view, instead of just being in it and having them rule you. And then your behavior, if you're sitting just inside of the emotion, is all over the place. So

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I think breathing is so important. I like to do this square breathing. That's the way that helps me, it has a visual with it. So
  • I'm a very visual person, a visual learner. So if I can, breathe in the top out and then in and out and just keep going around the square, it gives me something to focus on in my head. And you can always find usually always find a square around you somewhere. So
  • So I do a lot of square breathing. It's also being able to cleanse your brain because thinking about when you're watching a movie or a suspenseful part or something like that. So many times I find myself not breathing. That's a good clue right there that when I'm stressed when my emotions are high, I'm actually not breathing. So
  • And so when everything gets calm, you're like, Oh, thank goodness. Right. And so that's a natural cue to me that if I want to be in a state of calm, then I should breathe as though I am calm.  So

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Bullying Story

  • I've been on the side of bullying. I was never popular. I went to middle school with perm bangs and straight hair. I believe I was in seventh grade which is a hard time for everybody. build peace into parenting
  • So there was a boy, I really, really liked him and he was part of the popular crowd. And so the word got around that I liked him. And he so he wrote me a note. And he said, meet me by your locker at such and such a time. And I really, I really want to talk to you and had a heart on it.
  • So I primped my permed bangs and went all there and stood at the locker. And at that point, there was a crowd. I mean, this was like an after-school special-type story. But anyway, he came up. And he just said, “Did you really think that I would like you, of course, I don't, and walked away.”
  • And then everyone was just laughing and, of course, I was crushed. I was so embarrassed. And then I had to go to school with these people for the next seven years. That was always such a gleaming story in my head.
  • I had to keep going to class, I had to keep going to school, I had to keep saying hello to these people and not be rude. Funny enough, we're Facebook friends today, you only behave out of what you know. build peace into parenting

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Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life.

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