374 Improve Your Life Experience With Three Rooms; Kevin Murphy

November 12, 2018

Kevin Murphy is a a community activist, a wrestler, a speaker, and a writer. He is also a former Wall Street managing director. Following his college wrestling career, he served as a youth wrestling coach on Long Island for over thirty years. This led to his induction into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame in 2009. He's also spear-headed a campaign to raise awareness of the opioid and drug epidemic that's sweeping the country. His varied experiences have given Kevin a unique and eclectic way of understanding human nature. He used this understanding to write the book, The Three Rooms, where he explains how observing which room your thoughts are in at any given time can change your experience of life.

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Contact Info

  • Website: www.TheThreeRooms.com
  • Facebook: The Three Rooms

Most Influential Person

  • Larry Glenn (my wrestling coach)

Effect on Emotions

  • Well, I think mindfulness has made me aware of my emotions because I think mindfulness is really about how we feel and it is the merging of our thoughts and emotions. That is what all the mystics talk about, when the two becomes one, you know, the nonduality.
  • You can talk about the soul of the Ottoman and the Brahmin of the soul and the universal mind all merging into one, and the thoughts and the emotions all merging into one. And I think that's, that's so important.
  • And so when I think of mindfulness, I think not only of the conscious awareness of my thoughts, but also how it makes me feel. Keeping in that centered place where thoughts of kindness, love, appreciation, and gratitude, that really does help.

Thoughts on Breathing

  •  Well, I look at breathing when I look within and communicate within because I think it's really important to connect with that universal mind that we all have.
  • And, when I've asked that question sometimes within like, 'So where are you? Are you here?' I've received an answer that, 'Yes, I am in your breath.'
  • If I think of my breath as my higher self, I'm always here as long as I'm breathing. I can feel a higher self within me and that's my connection.
  • That connection to the universal mind is within your heart and the thoughts in everyone's minds, but I think of that breath as not just monitoring my breathing. No, I can feel you (my higher self). I know you're here because I can feel the breath and I know my higher self is saying to me, as long as you can feel your breath, you can feel me.

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Bullying Story

  • Having been a wrestler for most of my life all through junior high, high school and college, and I had two older brothers who were wrestlers, so even though I was very small, people tend to not want to bother with wrestlers.
  • What I've always found through the years is, bullies are not tough guys. Bullies are coming from a point of insecurity.
  • We've always had the saying, bullies start fights, but tough guys finish fights. And so bullies don't want to be, you know, run into the tough guy.
  • And so I was always kind of avoided because of being in wrestling.
  • But I do remember a story vividly and I put it in the book, where one day my son came home from school and he was talking about Martin Luther King's birthday. And we started talking about Martin Luther King about how he helped people, even when he didn't need to and maybe people who couldn't stand up for themselves. And we talked about how, how cool that was.
  • I noticed that he really got it and about a week later he came home from school and he told me that there was a couple of kids bullying another kid at school and everyone kind of gathered around and was kind of cheering on the bullies as they beat up this one kid. I can get emotional thinking about it, but he stepped in and he broke up the fight.
  • And it was the first time I ever remember him getting in a fight at school. I could tell it made him feel really good. But think of how it made the other kid feel.
  • Someone said, you know, you're worth sticking up for. Someone said, You are good enough. You are worthy. And when he went home, how meaningful that must have been to him.
  • And so Paul, my son had to have been, he had to be mindful in that moment because he had to be aware of what was happening and the emotions of compassion had to kick in in order for him to step in because what was happening with all the other kids, they weren't being mindful.
  • They were caught up in the moment. They were actually cheering like, oh, look at him. Oh, get that good. Did you see that kick?
  • And I'm sure that after it was over they were probably like, I don't know why I was cheering. I didn't really mean to do that, but you get caught up in it and you need to be mindful when it's happening. And I thought that was a really wonderful story for him and an experience for him.

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